Here ya go, Chance:
The airline pilot announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, It looks like we're going go have a crash landing, Please try to stay calm." One of the ladies on the plane began to scream hysterically, "I just want to feel like a woman before I die! Please, please somebody help me!" Just then a tall, muscular man began walking down the aisle while unbuttoning his shirt. When he reached the lady he said to her, "It needs ironing, and could you fold it too?"
(OK girls, I'm already running)
