Pinky, it has taken years for me to be truly confident (most of the time) in my clowning abilities. I still have my moments, usually anytime I decide to do something new or something I haven't done in a while. I kept a mental checklist and I kept adding to it. It went something like this..."REAL clowns do..." And listed was eery skill I had ever heard of or seen a clown doing. I thought if I was going to be that mythical "real" clown I needed to excel and everything and there was just no way "I" could do that. Well with help I realized that not every entertainer had every skill, and that I not only didn't need to learn every skill, I also learned that I didn't need to be perfect at the ones I did learn. There is a line in the movie "What About Bob?" that my friends and I have jokingly used for years when we reach a new level requiring a few growing pains. Dryfuss's character tells Bob that everything will get better and he can overcome his fears and become the perfect person he is meant to be. But before he can jump up and take big steps towards his goal he must get started and what better way to get started than by taking "baby steps." Throughout the movie the phrase "Baby steps,baby steps" reoccurs and that has jokingly become our mantra. Moosecamp would be a good baby step for you. And it would be a place where you already knew three or four other clowns. It wouoldn't be like you didn't have any support. Besides you are already doing a great job. You have opened yourself up for God to lead you.
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