And now the point of view of someone who has a few more years on her.
It would be nice to have financial security. We would all like that. But I have learned to go with the flow a bit more. I had to let go of the idea of knowing where I would be or what I would be doing this time next year. That was a big step for me. I didn't use to handle surprizes very well. I thought I had to have all the answers TODAY.
Well, I don't think we can have all the answers ahead of time. And maybe it can even be good not to. Looking back I drove myself crazy trying to get everything done and meeting everyone elses expectations. I missed a big piece of my life. I worked. I worked hard all the time. At work and at home. I cleaned and crafted. Cooked and everything you can imagin. If I sat for a minute guilt would take over for the landry not done yet ect.
I went thru a multitude of stress related ailments.
So how does this relate to your question? I think you have to let go of the expectation of knowing what to do ahead of time.
If you are lead to be creative I think you should follow that path. Teaching will be there in the future when your kids are bigger. By that time you will know if the clown thing is going to work for you.
As much as you want to, you can't fix your husbands problems for him. He is a big boy and will figure that out for himself. Just be supportive of his decisions as you let HIM make them for himself. I'm a fix it person to so know how hard that is.
You don't need that extra responsibility, and the stress will take its toll.
Your job is to take care of the kids and the kids Mom.
Trust God to take care of things to. That is not to say you should sit and wait for that to happen. Just don't worry yourself to death over things that might not even happen, or even worse, things you have no control over.
If things change so can you.
Just ramblings of an old clown.
Eat dessert first.
worry less.
play with the kids.
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