[Happy Chappy & Daisy]

1. Don't actually throw the pie. A proper pie never leaves the hand until after impact. If you throw it, it will probably just disintegrate in air and spray cream instead of a satisfying thwack.

2. Don't use whipped cream. It's too messy. Get cheap 99c shaving cream (Barbisol is probably the best - you can get their woman's shaving cream in coconut or other good scents, if you like). Fill up a paper plate, and smooth it with a spatula. If you really pack it together, it will firm up and last for half-an-hour, at least.

3. Swing it with an over-exaggerated sidearm. It doesn't take a fast swing to keep it on your hand; you want everybody to know what's happening, except for the target.

4. Close your eyes and hold your breath when it hits! Exaggerate the wiping of cream from the eyes.

5. Remember, the idea is to make people laugh. Give people time to react and laugh.