Okay, I want to hear your best puns! Puns are my specialty -
like Brown E's for brownies, 2 cans for toucans, etc.

Here's the challenge: I am making a pun suit. I already have 100 ideas to include but I want the 100 best ideas. I have level-headed, two-left-feet, tennis elbow, etc. but I've already removed table-skirt, bed-skirt, and other lame ones.

Let's hear your ideas and hopefully, they're not on my list already. Describe your pun and how you'd make it.

Thanks!

There is the crock a dial
A crock pot with a phone dial on it

How about a running gag... a little scrap of cloth with running feet?

Chicken Cordon Blue (SP)

Thats a rubber chicken swingin' from a blue cord.

Biker chick: Rubber chicken in leather

I keep a tiny grater (cheese grater) in my pocket. If someone says thats great (in context) I'll say yes, But I have soething a little greater.. and then pull out the prop.

Those are all good! I already have the little grater but all the others are new to me!

Thanks! Keep 'em coming!

Can you guess this one? A shirt where the lower front half is yellow combined with a baby bottle filled with maple syrup.

Keep a folded piece of paper in your shoe. Foot Notes.

GiGi :D

Can you guess this one? A shirt where the lower front half is yellow combined with a baby bottle filled with maple syrup.

No, But I'm dying to find out........ :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Foot note! That's great! I could use a music note too!

Okay, A shirt where the lower front half is yellow combined with a baby bottle filled with maple syrup.

That would be.....

A yellow-bellied sap sucker! (It's from my bird collection!)

:roll: :roll: Boy, How did I miss that... LOL!!

Okay, A shirt where the lower front half is yellow combined with a baby bottle filled with maple syrup.

That would be.....

A yellow-bellied sap sucker! (It's from my bird collection!)
You know, Scruff and I sat and stewed on that for quite a while and couldn't come up with that.

Very clever!

Next one:

rolls inside a cage

Name that pun!

Roll cage? Police brutality?? Hard rolls?

How about a sneaker with a trumpet on it

A shoe horn

Very good, Jamz!!

Oh! Shoe Horn is great!! One more for my pun suit!

OK, Rolls in a Cage is......(drum roll please)


Bread (Bred) in Captivity!

How about this one....

Make a number 2 out of something difficult to grasp.....maybe slippery or slick surface...try to grip it or hold it in your hand, but you can't no matter how hard you try...

TOO HARD TO HANDLE!

A painless way to draw blood.

Use a red marker and "draw" red all over a piece of paper.

If you give someone a salt packet and a battery, you can tell them that they might get arrested for "Assault and Battery" (OK, I know its corny :? )

I've heard "assault & battery" before but "drawing blood" is new. I'll use it at our next blood drive.

I sometimes get turned away because of low iron. Last time, I brought in an iron, held it as high as I could and said, "Is my iron high enough today!" When they tested my blood iron, it was high enough!

Yeah!

I know this is an old thread, but I just saw it.

A blue letter "J" in a small bird cage. Blue Jay. Tell then you want to show off your new pet.

Shoe box with baby rattles in it. Write on the box "CAUTION" Baby Rattlers!". I play this up really big. Stand back ya'll, I've never had them out in public, they are shy. Then I bring out the baby rattles.

Put 2 seperate strings in a brown bag, pull them out "tied". Tide Box on a string.

Wanna see my box of tricks? Pull out an empty Box of Trix cereal.

I have "something" for you. Show them a laminated card with the word "something" on it. OR: I have "a little something" for you. Same thing.

Spring Flowers: Tie a coil spring to the bottom of some silk flowers.

Your "CD" collection: Write a bunch of "C's" & "D's" on a poster board.

good ones! I've only heard the blue jay before.

I don't get "Tide box on a string" I've never heard the phrase before. :?

I don't get "Tide box on a string" I've never heard the phrase before. :?

You say: "I'm going to put 2 ropes into a bag & pull them out tied." (Like, tied together) You can actually cut out the side of a Tide Detergent box to show the brown side & lay it in the bottom, upside down, in the very bottom of the brown paper bag, with the rope tied to the cardboard & tucked underneath then show the empty bag. Show each rope 1 by 1 that they are without knots & perfectly seperate. Then drop them in 1 by 1, I do this kinda dramatic. Then reach back in the bag & grab the rope attached to the Tide box.
"2 ropes go into a bag & pull them out Tide!"

Does that make anymore sense?

I guess it's not really a "Pun". Just a prank magic trick. It does get alot of laughs though. It's easy to carry to, just fold the bag up & stick it just inside your bag. :) :)

I have a whole book on puns. When I get home I'll get the title of it.

Ooooohhhhhh! I get it now. I missed the Tide box part - I thought you were using string and a paper bag and that's it. Good one.

I'd like the title of that book if you don't mind. :lol:

spring water

a bottle water bottle with a slinky inside

A pair of Glasses with a perscription bottle glued to each lens: perscription glasses.

A small wooden stool in a small plastic jar: Stool specimen.

Just finished up the glasses. Now it's off to Sassy to decorate.

to go with Drs. kit

mirror in Jar become UR in Jar
stuffed cat for Cat scans
Hammer Pain reliever
candy Themometer- make great oversized one

I'd like the title of that book if you don't mind. :lol:

I am sorry Stiches, I totaly forgot to get the book title for you last night. Ugh.... I'll try to remember tonight! I'll write myself a BIG NOTE & Leave myself a voice mail!!!! :oops:

Stiches,

Sorry for the delay! I've been swamped!! Here are the book names:

My Favorite 50 Walk Arounds Volume One & Two: by: Jeffrey B. McMullen. They are just small paperback books that he put together on the copy machine. I don't think they have been published. He taught a business class on the "Business Fundamentals of the Entertainment Business". He is a former Ringling Clown. Ihave several of his books on business, but the phone number has been disconnected. I will try a Google search on him.

Hope this helps!!

I've got a dog chew toy that's a large tire. [got it for car shoes]

I pull it out and say I'm just a little tire [as in tired].

I put tires on a couple of dog beanies - My dogs are tired (if you ever heard people use this phrase referring to their feet).

As part of my food routine, I wok the dog!

Get a little piece of toy racetreck and glue a fork to it
A fork in the road

Thought you might like to see the bee collection I finished last night.

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http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/boosterbaby/000_0996.jpg

I made enough for both our boys to have one. It's such a simple pun, but it works well with kids because they're such literal thinkers. They're expecting a case full of dead bugs!

The cases would've been too heavy for the boys with all wooden letters, so the multicolored pieces are foam. The best part of that is I didn't have to paint them! Woo-hoo!

looks cool.

You mention clocks in your other post.

old joke could be used as a pun
throw a clock and tell people you want to see time fly...

Or, just put wings on the clock, and attach a string to the back
of your jacket.

You can throw the clock, and it will revolve around you -- therefore
time will be flying, but you won't lose control of the clock.

Ashes

Neat pun!

Oh, I really like that one Ash!

I have a cool foam clock that no longer works and I've been trying to think of something to do with it...this just might be it!!

These are all good! You guys/gals are great!

White house in a cage = Capitol PUNishment
The true secret of Masonry = A Mason Jar with a ? in it.
Have a bear poking out of your pocket = Bare with me.
Little Phone half wy in a swimming pool = Call Wading
Wear a Bolo tie with a Horse for the slide = your a little horse
Little wave = microwave
Seal with approved stamped on its chest= To easy to tell
Clam shells taped shut = Silence of the Clams
Icecubes on your chest = Cold Front

Ok thats all I have Time to MOOve along, Sorry I horned in on your topic, I will go now, it would be cheesy of me to milk this any longer. but lets be friends please do not steer clear of me.

Dartel

cool.... 8)

those where great Dartel

Elecrtic key board:

a piece of 2x4 with painted pastic keys on t with electric wiring all over the place...

grannys bloomers:

a few flower pots with the flowers blooming!

apple computer:

a mount of plastic christmas apples as the monitor, adda toy mouse (computer mouse), a giant pencil (printer), and a pair of binoculars (the scanner)

PINK I's

PINK E's

Clean X's

Brown E's

My kids:

a picture of baby goats

My pride and joy:

picture of Pride table cleaner and Joy dish washing soap

Gray hare ( a foam gray rabbit)

Black I's

Gray V's

Green P's

A small rock... say "Iam feeling a little boulder"

A small rock... say "Iam feeling a little boulder"

Nice. How about 4 or 5 rocks - your very own rock band

Our boss clown has a little routine where she get's everybody fired up to see "El Cheepo" , her pet (and stuffed toy) dog "jump" through a hoop. I took it one step further and had her ask me for a ring of fire for el cheepo to jump through. So, I came out with a hoola hoop with flyers from the event taped to it - "Here's your ring of flyers!"

How long will a roll last before getting moldy? I'm thinking about adding a dinner roll to my rock band (rock -n- roll)

SME try useing one of those Fake rolls or a Roll of Tolet paper

SME try useing one of those Fake rolls or a Roll of Tolet paper

Roll of toilet paper - I like that one. Thanks Willace! And just think, then I'll have my very own "spare" in case I gotta use one of those parade/event port-o-pots! :shock:

Lol Your Welcome SME

Just saw this online...

little baby chicks stuck on your costume

You're a "chick magnet"

maidtrix

I want to learn some biblical puns here's one that I have heard of

A RED LETTER C
AND HAVE IT SPLIT IN HALF FOR PARTING THE RED SEE

Some other pun that I know of.
A Plastic lunch box that says Bee Keeper-- when you open the box it's a bunch of Letter b's tied up with fishing string

you can also put the letter C on the floor and tell people you're crossing the "red C"

Biblical Puns?

A book with holes drilled in it is a "holy book"
The ten commandments in a box of raisin bran cereal: Moral Fiber!

Use Dove soap to remind yourself that we can all be cleansed by the holy spirit. And a can of peas on a globe to remind everyone to pray for peas on earth (er...I mean, peace on earth!)

That's all for now!

lol loved those stitches

how about glueing some doll arms to a coat for a coat of arms

how about glueing some doll arms to a coat for a coat of arms

or a coat with about forty sleeves....Coat of Arms, I love it, Jamz It reminds me of rip taylor and a certain article of clothing.....

Okay, get some cardboard butter boxes or just use the butter wrappers, and tape them to your fingers or gloved fingers for Butterfingers.

Find a stuffed lamb or sheep and tie it to your leg--Leg of Lamb

Get a picture of a Rock N Roll band and tape it to your head under your hat--Head Band

get a little bitty telephone--microphone

cotton ball--microsoft
add some dollhouse windows---microsoft windows

bicycle bell or anything that rings--on your ear--earring
on your nose--nose ring

Jitterbug, you are soooo cute! I love your look!

Thanks for the ideas!

Hey stitches, I just looked at stuff4clowns.com and saw what I was trying to think of for you. They have a "Purse" or "Briefcase" made of underwear, or men's boxers. I just couldn't think of how you could add it in. They have a very nice example. It's cute with a handle.
Jitterbug

thanks! I'll look there! sounds funny! :lol:

Spectacular thread!!!


"Would you like a low-fat, calorie-free brownie?" Give them a brown "E"

From ideas here, could make a Rock and Roll Band with rocks, toilet paper roll and ??? for a band? headband? rubberband?

I've seen a WatchDog - dog with a watch on it


I'm searching for Rubber chicken puns! I love my rubber chicken...

Chicken fingers = chicken with a rubber glove
Stuffed chicken = pull scarves out of the chicken

Any more punny chickens?

Tie a blue string around the neck of a rubber chicken.....
Chicken; cord on, blue :P :P

Thanks Scruffy --- forgot to mention that one as I read it in this thread earlier.

My chicken works for the highway safety department - Buck, Buck, Buckle up!

Dancing cheek to chick (hold it up to your face and dance)
Poultry in Motion (just move it around)
Spring chicken (add a spring)
Chicken a la king (add a crown)