I did a party today and had my worst experience ever with a heckler. This was just a balloon-twisting gig--no show--just working my way around tables making balloons while kids ate pizza. This 8-year-old girl started in with the typical "You're not a real clown." So I responded the way I always do, "You're not a real kid." Then she started in on my nose: "That's not your real nose." "As a matter of fact it is. I picked it myself."

But she just wouldn't stop. "That's just make-up, your feet aren't really big, I can see your hair under your wig, You have a real nose under that, Your skin isn't really that color, your hair is not really green. You're just a person in a costume." Oh my god. It was so annoying. She went on and on and on. I finally ran out of responses and just tried to ignore her and move on to the next kid, but she was following me around and soon a couple of other girls were chiming in.

These were not tiny kids, and it's not as though I am naive enough to believe that I was fooling any of them into thinking that I am not a human underneath all of the clown garb and make-up. But usually when kids make these comments, it's in a playful way. This girl seemed to be trying to unveil me as some kind of a fraud. It was insane. I think I carried on fairly well, but it was not a fun party and I left feeling like I am not in the right profession and that I don't really like children that much.

How have you handled persistent hecklers who won't let up?

Pull them aside and say hey I know you know im just a person, im here for the little kids.. let them enjoy themselves, maybe you can help me will you carry this..... pump, bag whatever you trust them holding. they want attention and by trying to dodge it and play it off it just gets worse. They want you to admit you are a person so admit it and let them move on. Coming out and saying hey ya know what yer right... they have nothing left to harp on you about.

One thing I've done if I get some one persistant is to admit it, but I explain it this way, A fireman has his uniform, so does a policeman, and Nurse, this is mine and usually that ends it.

Rope and /or Duct tape.

Oh, Pickles, don't let one or two sour little apples drive you away from the basket. When I get called out, I admit I am not a real clown, I am an FBI agent in disguise, and continue with further, more ridiculous "No, I'm really a...". Almost every time the nasty little brute(s) begin to argue I am NOT those things, but a clown. No, I'm not, I argue...

Chin up! Nose out! Get back on that horse! If nothing else, speak to the parental units at the party. Someone should ride herd. You are hired to entertain, not babysit.

You're a good clown, a nice person, and doggone it, people like you!

:applause:

Gosh oh gee These are the moments that make them so special, I love this kid

Pickles DO NOT let this get you down. We all run into situation where we come down on ourselves when we shouldn't. Just re-call how many children have come to you to say you are a GREAT CLOWN. I am not a little kid but I know for sure you are a GREAT CLOWN. 8-)

Yigal Miseka's Electric Touch. Installs "invisibly" in your shoe for deniability.

The Secret agent on a stake out response has worked for me as well. (I guess great minds think alike Cool) I go so far as to describe a silly looking "bad guy" who might be in disguise and his rediculous crime. Once I had a few of them helping me look for him under tables and behind the potted plants. But those were still young enough to play pretend when given a fun enough idea.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that Pickles:cry: Please don't let it affect your clowning career! It's so obvious how dedicated and professional you are. It's a lifestyle based on comedy and good old fashioned fun! Keep working that angle and ignore the spoiled brats who think they are entitled to do anything they want to make another person miserable. You are one of the greatest clowns I'm aware of!!! Keep at it! It will keep paying off in ways that you have seen come your way before! You're the best!:D

remember the movie Roadhouse. (boy I do first time seeing Patrick Swaze near naked ...ahem sorry)
he was giving a speach to his bouncers "its not personal" "be nice" and I have adopted it as my lifes mantra. I figure if they dont know my mom's name and my dog's name then it cant be about me. so I dont let it bother me. it works trust me I managed a truck stop for years and believe me road tired people can try your last nerve. Its not personal (repeat)

You should have popped her in the mouth and said, "Does that feel real to you?"

Members of the Society of Fatuus... iuevnis sum, ergo fatuus sum.

Sometimes kids just want someone to recognize that they are smart and maturing. Sincerely, but sweetly, acknowledging this can go a long way. "You're right (or smart) - we're just playing a big game of pretend! Why don't you help pretend with me? Here, can I give you a nose, too? - find and dab a bit of red makeup on her or offer a foam piece. If the kid is intent to show how right that they are, then great - let them be right and enjoy the fact that they had their way. In fact, that is usually my route of deflating hecklers. Acknowledge them honestly, recognize something of value - even if sassily - in what they accuse, then be playful with it (and maybe even give it back to them a bit.) An example (though not in children's entertainment - this guy was a juggler and unicyclist) from what I once witnessed with a street performer: He was making his pitch just before the big finish. He suggested that people put something a bit more significant into the hat because, "If all I'm going to get is change, I might as well just be begging rather than risking life itself!" sort of a thing, he called out. Just then, a guy who was panhandling in front of the store nearby shouted out, "I'll take the change!" and drew focus of the crowd assembled away from the performer for a moment. This threw him when he heard all the laughter. Then the beggar (now knowing HE has an audience) repeated the call louder. What to do/how to respond? The performer's technique was to disparage the man, "One million sperm, and the one which got through made YOU!" Bad move. It discredited his own reputation. Instead, I would have suggested that he reply - to the audience not the beggar - "Well, there you hear it, and we agree - give you twenty dollar bills to ME and your loose change to HIM!"

I realize that you don't want to disappoint any of the other kids by balling up in tears and saying, "You're right. I'm a terrible failure. I'm not a real clown. This isn't even my real nose!" But I think that there is a way to do it which is fun and wouldn't have discredited yourself.

Why not offer them a common foe, namely, the fear of or disdain of clowns? If asked if you are a 'real clown', respond that you are as real a clown as they want you to be. If someone says they hate clowns, just respond, 'I don't like them either - let me know if you see any around.' @:-)

Why not offer them a common foe, namely, the fear of or disdain of clowns? If asked if you are a 'real clown', respond that you are as real a clown as they want you to be. If someone says they hate clowns, just respond, 'I don't like them either - let me know if you see any around.' @:-)

I don't understand when you write like this, Merry Andrew. Could you please rewrite the above in iambic pentameter?

Did you have your nerf GUN?

I wrote a post on this problem a couple years ago. Check it out: Warning: Hecklers can Ruin Your Show (http://dylan.la/iaKnqJ)

Hecklers suck but you can

I would talk to the Birthday mom sometimes they carry a swift hand to the bottom!

I don't understand when you write like this, Merry Andrew. Could you please rewrite the above in iambic pentameter?

They cry, 'you're not a real clown; you're a fake'
Then boldly fold their arms and pout their lips
They've overdone the cookies and the cake
Should I being putting up with this for tips?

I call to them and whisper in their ears
'I'm real as real can be if you pretend',
my nudge and wink turn chiding into cheers
and turn a former brat into a friend.

and turn a former brat into a friend.



What do you mean, “Former Brat”?
I never read anything quite as stupid as that!
When I heard this I found it hard to resist
Keeping my pantymeters out of a twist.

It’s completely insensitive and totally silly.
You cant go changing your species, willy nilly
Who do you think you are, Charles Darwin?
That foolish idiot, should have started clownin

A leopard can’t change its spots, cant you see?
If they could they would all be brats like me.
I will resist any new fangled trend
That seeks to turn me into a friend.

This kind of talk really rankles,
Keep it up buddy and I’ll bite your ankles.
Once a brat, always a brat,
and don’t you ever forget that!

A broom to your backside, three times or more
should be quite sufficient to shove you outdoors
and t'would be well-deserved, at that
if you were in fact so much a brat.
Behind that sassy, cranky visage, though
a twinkle in your shining eye does grow.
I bet I'd get a sly and funny grin
with just a scratch under your furry chin.
For sure, an ankle-biter you might be,
but cute-for-cute, you are no match for me!

cute-for-cute, you are no match for me!

His rhymes have gone from bad to worse
First he thinks he’s Darwin now Miss Universe!

I tell every one that clowns are make believe, and make believe can be real...you just have to make believe. Right Boys and Girls?
Also if you are twisting balloons you can warm up the little ones by saying that all your balloons have holes in them, but thats okay that's how you get the air in them...
Some times I will make them take the clown oath before I start anything even twisting balloons...

I make every one raise there right hand, [I always will raise my left hand and then correct myself by saying I mean your other right hand] and say, I promise not to tell how the clown does his magic or balloon twisting. I also promise to look both way before crossing the Street. One more thing, I promise not to put chocolate pudding in my mom and dads hair...

Most of the time the Boys and Girls are laughing so much that I can Twist Balloons, Juggle or do my Magic show and not have any Really Bad Heckler...

If I am walking around and just doing balloons, I will try to warm up the kids before starting...

Rope and /or Duct tape.

i prefer a golf bag fully loaded
5 iron works best

Note to self use 5 iron and don't forget to scream 4

or a hockey stick workes