Greetings, fellow silly-ists!

I would like to broach the subject of clowns making music. I would love to hear from anyone who incorporates music into what they do. Remember, you don't need to be a virtuoso to count as a clown musician. Kazoos and harmonicas make for some wonderful comedy!

I myself love to sing, and have even incorporated a small, bright-red accordion to play chords. It works for all ages, but especially for younger children and the older children that I find at senior centers.

I'm especially fond of taking songs they know, and putting ridiculous words to them. For instance, 7-year-olds enjoy my parody of "Row your Boat":

"Ride, ride, ride your goat
Gently down the stairs.
Slippity, trippity, tippity, flipitty…
Time to make repairs."

Or, for any group old enough to know "Moon River":

"Chopped liver…I eat it all the time
The taste is quite sublime, they say.
Dill pickle, and pumpernickel
Makes a sandwich that blows me away."


So, clowns, how about it? How do you make music?

This one is sang to the melody "If I only had a brain" from the Wizard of Oz

Oh my makeup would quit runnin'
When i'm sweatin and i'm funnin'
If I had a powdered face

And the gals would think me dashin
So the pies they would quit smashin
If I had a powdered face

.....that's all folks. I have go play my kazoo and juggle chickens. Don't worry, the chickens aren't live....anymore

I sing a version of It ain't gonna rain no more no more in my show. I have two volunteers who wear deer antlers ( I'll explain later you'll get it at the end). They have cue cards with the answers to some dumb jokes. I sing the song changing animals in between versus. Then I ask the animal joke and the volunteers give the answer from the cue card. I end with 'I'll blow it out my bows to water my doe's.' I move in between the two deer antlered usually older girl volunteers and get them with my powder rig set up to squirt out the bows on the side of my head. If they are using microphones I limit it to baby powder for safety reasons but it usually gets shouts of surprise then laughter. With the older volunteers they usually take it pretty good and I usually use the powder with it. It gets more over me then them most of the time and I can then sputter and cough fanning the air like what happened. My autoharp is usually covered in baby powder by the end. I save it for the last song to use the harp. I also use a small children's autoharp called an easy chord and sing a very" short song." It sounds more like a uke to me and is great when I can't carry my full sized harp with me. It fits in the top of my case and is with me all the time. When I am at the waterpark it works great if a parent says this is their kids birthday I can take a break and get the whole line singing happy birthday.
Sara K.

I've been itching to post this one that I wrote from scratch ...

Sung to the tune of Twinle Twinkle little star


Pimple pimple little zit, you’re an annoying little git,
stuck out of the way - on my ass
can’t quite reach to give a scratch
Pimple pimple little zit, you’re an annoying little git.

Pimple pimple little spot, Red and itchy on my bot
Would love to squeeze you make you burst
Can’t quite reach there’s nothing worse
Pimple pimple little spot, Red and itchy on my bot

Pimple pimple little blister, as annoying as my sister
Ripped your head off made a fuss
Cos now my shorts are filled with puss
Pimple pimple you’re no more, I can’t sit down it’s much too sore!

Smartii

Sung to the tune of "I love you" by Barney the dinosaur (which itself is a rip off of This old man)

The boxing song

I glove you
You glove me
Ding ding bell goes in round 3
With a great big hug
And the ref breaks up the clinch
Toook a swing and watched you flinch

I glove you
You glove me
The refs distracted, in with the knee
Your down and counted
I’ve won the bout
Try it again and I’ll knock you out!

Smartii

One of the clowns in my alley used to sing this simple little ditty to the tune of Auld Lang Syne....

We're here, because we're here, because we're here because we're here....

we're here, because we're here, because we're here, because we're here....


Used to get a few chuckles....

Somehow my heads been filling up with ridiculous songs over the past few days so I thought i'd resurrect this thread (please tell me I got the right one this time Barry?)

You really need to murder the rhythm to make some of these fit!

To the tune of Heads shoulders knees and toes

Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes
And eyes and ears and mouth and nose,
Aaaaaare the ingredients in my sausages, In my sausages

To the tune of the Wheels on the Bus

The Unattended package on the bus goes Boom, Boom, Boom
Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom
The Unattended package on the bus goes Boom, Boom, Boom
in a series of controlled explosions

and finally as if they weren't bad enough

To the tune of Hello my baby

Hello my baby, hello my darling, hello my good time girl.
How did you three meet ... I can explain honest ... I love you all equally.


Smartii

To the tune of my Bonnie lies over the ocean ....

My Bonnie lies over the phone bill
My Bonnie lies over her fees
She lied about where she was last night
I don't think my Bonnie loves me

... If music be the food of love - I think I just choked on a quaver!

Smartii