Well we have a poem thread so how about a song thread. I went to a barn dance and BBQ last night for special needs children and there were a couple of country bumpkins singing humorous songs. While some of their humor was a little slow they did sing one song that got a round of applause. They had taken the familiar song Put Your Hand in the Hand of the Man that Stills the Water" and had changed the words. I thought hey we could do that here and start a new thread. So here goes. Here is their version and a different song I changed the lyrics too.
Their song sung to the tune of "Put Your Hand"
Put your hand in the fan and you may loose a finger.
Put your foot in the fan and you may loose a toe.
Put your face in the fan and you will look at others differently.
Put your self in the fan and you change your anatomy.

How to Make Hobo Stew sung to "He's Got the Whole World In His Hands"
You put the whole squirrel in the pan.
You put the whole darn squirrel in the pan.
You put the whole squirrel in the pan
You put the whole squirrel in the pan

You put some itty bitty gravy in the pan.
You put some itty bitty gravy in the pan.
You put some itty bitty gravy in the pan.
You put the whole squirrel in the pan.

It's got chew and me terbaccy in the pan.
It's got some gew from me cistern in the pan.
It's got chew and me terbaccy in the pan.
Its got the whole squirrel in the pan.
Everybody sing!!!
You put the whole squirrel in the pan.
You put the whole darn squirrel in the pan.
You put the whole squirrel in the pan.
You put the whole squirrel in the pan.

So tag now your it!
Sara K.

A song about lawn care
(Sing to the tune of Row Row Row Your Boat:)

Mow mow mow your lawn
In diagonal lines
Trim the hedges
Prune the trees
The neighbors think you're fine

Well I can go maybe one more and then somebody else's turn.
To the song of Sarasponda ret set set! (kind of ironic don't you think)
Special K'z the clown can't get a laugh
Special K's the clown just posted a gaffe
So where should she go?
Out with the cows in the snow.
No put her with the rubber chickens in the hay.
She'll learn humor that way HEY!
(O.K. I know the meter is off you just have to sing it fast to make it fit)
Sara K.

I can't sing.

lalalala
la
lalaaaaaaaaaaa!

This song is entitled "The Chocolate Confection" and can be sung to the tune of "The Rainbow Connection."

Hubby helped polish it to the gem that it is now...

Why are there so many calories in chocolate,
And why do they go to my thighs?
Chocolate is wondrous
And full of flavonoids,
But my cellulite's tough to hide.
I must abstain, though I so love to scarf it.
I'll try to control my obesity.

Someday we'll eat it,
A chocolate confection,
The kiddos, the gluttons and me.

Who said that Palmers crap
Could be called chocolate
When compared to Cadbury?
Some doofus thought of that
And some moron sold it.
Now Mom bought that trash for me.
Why's it so disgusting?
That stuff it gut busting.
I'll get the good stuff--you'll see.

Someday I'll eat it,
The Snickers and Hershey's,
The Dove bar, Ghiradelli's and Heath.

All of us under its spell,
We know that it's mildly addictive.

Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Are these the sweet sounds that call
The young glutton?
They may be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
There's something I'm supposed to eat.

Someday we'll eat it,
The chocolate confection,
The fatties, the piggies and me.



Disclaimer: In case anyone thinks I'm making fun of obese people, I can assure you I am poking fun at myself. Please don't take offense.

Here's another one. It's dedicated to and inspired by my husband, who is a zombie fan. Obviously not suited for all audiences. Play around with the words to figure out exactly how they fit with the music. To the tune of "The Sound of Music".



The hills are alive with the sounds of terror
The screams meet my ear as the zombies roam
Oh, what will I do to survive this melee
I think I must check my large weapons cache

My coat closet houses a longsword, and a shotgun,
A crowbar and machete
My house is on stilts to protect me
They can't climb apparently

To eat Twinkies and soda in my bunker
Til the Feds can arrive
I hope they'll sort it out
I don't want to be taken alive

The undead want to pluck my brains from my cranium
Like eating tapas in Spain
Bingeing til they're full

My heart will be last
I do hope it chokes them
And I'll live no more