I'm working on a new character for clown ministry. Her name is Mrs. Stitches and she's a widow from Brooklyn. She has bluish gray hair, a big limegreen hat, cat's eye glasses with beaded chain, large orange purse, orthopedic shoes, droopy stockings. Skirt and blouse with a big bow near the collar. The bow shows above her choir robe and she carries a tamborine. I'm seriously considering a big butt - I just don't want to offend anyone. I'm practicing with a heavy new york accent.

She says things like:
"Make a joyful noise unto the Lord! I can't carry a tune in a bucket, but to the Lord, it's joyful noise!"
"Oh, my achin' bunions! Do Mrs Stitches a favor - rub my feet! I'll give you a quarter!"
"Alcohol killed my husband! He was hit by a beer truck!"

Etc. I want her to really interact with people so I need lots of funny things for her to say. Any suggestions?

I was wondering when you'd put this up, mom.

*Thinks* What is it that makes me afriad of old ladies...XDDD Just kidding.

The only thing I can think of suggesting is A) by not forcing me to get an old lady person too (I like Ritz at her own age, thank you very much...) and B)...Hm...Maybe put a bit of fake gult trips, like, "When's the last time you called your mother" and such.

My daughter gives me ideas in the forum?!?!?! People are going to think we don't talk!!!!!! :D

PS: Go clean your room!

This sounds like a wonderful character! Is she going to be in clown makeup, or gawdy poorly overdone womanly makeup?? since we live so far away, i could use this idea here, huh? Just to sing telegrams to old men. That would be a HOOT.
If it's ministry, I'd say, maybe a large butt, but not TOO offensively large. Maybe tuck some important stuff like a hanky, money or the like in your bosom? My grandmother ALWAYS did that. lots of gawdy jewelry too maybe. just some suggestions.
Good luck! Can't wait to see her!
Jitterbug

Sounds a bit like that elderly lady character Ernest P. Worrell did, maybe you can get some ideas from that...

..Robin Williams... Mrs. Doutfire.....
Lilly Tomlin .. has an old lady character too. maybe these could give you some ideas.

some old BYW [baptist young women] skits come to mind, like Mrs. gossip, and I'm to tired.

Sounds a bit like that elderly lady character Ernest P. Worrell did, maybe you can get some ideas from that...

Never heard of him, I'll have to look it up! Thanks!

maybe a large butt, but not TOO offensively large

I'm a large woman but have absolutely no butt myself. I'm thinking just enough stuffing to make me a pear shape, but not weigh me down!


Is she going to be in clown makeup, or gawdy poorly overdone womanly makeup?? since we live so far away, i could use this idea here, huh?

Clown makeup, but I haven't experimented yet so we'll see. Absolutely, use the idea! Maybe Mrs Stitches and Mrs Jitter will meet face to face some day! Wouldn't that be a hoot!?!

Thanks for all the ideas everyone!

Quote:
Sounds a bit like that elderly lady character Ernest P. Worrell did, maybe you can get some ideas from that...


Never heard of him, I'll have to look it up! Thanks!


Ohhhhhhh! Ernest-goes-to-camp Ernest! I know who he is! Well, I found a picture of Ernestine but that's it. I don't think I've ever seen her on screen. Does anyone know what Ernest movie(s) she was in?

Try a couple of rubber playground balls added to your posterior. You can make the position of them as Funny as you like. Make one higher than the other. Then you can tell every one you had plastic surgery to get " a little lift". But, you're still making the payments......

Get a walker from Goodwill and a large HUGE purse. Drop a few wrenches in it that way when you drop it, it makes a loud clank. WHen you arrive with the purse, drop it and leave it with the walker. Tell the people that you need the walker to support the purse.

Stitches, watch Ernest Goes To Africa, and/or Ernest Goes To Jail.

LOL! Scruffy you are toooooo funny! :D