Just tell me to shut up, but sometimes I just wanna bust.

A first grader, Peter, was in Sunday school one morning when the teacher asked the question: Where does God live? Well a little girl raised her hand and said that God lives in heaven. Another said that He lives in her heart. Peter raised his hand and stated that God lives in his upstairs bathroom. Curious, the teacher asked for an explanation. Peter said that just this morning as many other mornings his father began banging on the bathroom door shouting, "My God!! Are you still in there?"

I picked it up somewhere years ago and usually include it in my routines.

The preacher asks the kids, "Does anyone know why we must be quiet during the service?" A little boy pipes up, "Because people are sleeping!"

This is a true story:
A mom was sitting in church next to her little boy. The man next to him was falling asleep during the service, so the little boy pointed to his mother's chest and said, "Do you want to use my mommy's pillows??"

Bwahh hhaa haa

When my uncle was about 4 years old, he yelled out in Church (at a time when things had grown quiet), "Ma, I wanna go home and watch Bugs Bunny!"

A priest who had a foreign accent used to dismiss the congregation by saying what came out sounding like, "The Mass is ended, go in pieces!"

a preacher was talking to a little boy about sleeping during service and the little boy explained "I was just doing what it says in the Bible.. on the 7th day rest so I was resting".

The preacher ended one of his fiery sermons saying that without God we are nothing. We are but DUST. So the small child asked her mother in a loud voice, "Mommy, what's butt dust?":???: