Hey Sam;

What happened when lightning struck the milking machine?
- the cow jumped over the moon
Who do the cows hate to see comi into the barn?
Cool hand Luke.
Once I was a hired hand on a dairy farm but got fired-I felt like an udder failure.

These would be great to integrate into a milk/cow skit.
Brilliant!

:) :) :)

Hey Sam;

What happened when lightning struck the milking machine?
- the cow jumped over the moon
Who do the cows hate to see comi into the barn?
Cool hand Luke.
Once I was a hired hand on a dairy farm but got fired-I felt like an udder failure.

Wow! Those really Mooo-ved me. :D Ya'll are a riot here.

cool one liners and thats no bull.

If women had udders and cows had breasts
what would be on page three of the sun?
Would it be daisey the fiesty heffer,
boasting 100, 89, 101?

Or would be Sharon the Croydon belle
with udders attached to her sturnum?
She would have admirring bollocks through out the land,
though four teatted Sharon would spurn um.

Would farmers monthly become a jazz mag?
Stictley top shelf, not for sale to the nippers.
Would Playboy become a life stock guide?
A ratteling good read for sheep dippers.

This interest in lactiferious glands
promotes questions I belive worth persuing.
For example, who was the first man to milk a cow,
and what did he think he was doing?

Why can I hear Benny Hill reciting this story....?

Well Scruffy, I have been telling that little story for 5 or 6 years now and I can't for the life of me remember who wrote it or where I first came across it.

And another little poem I like to tell whilst we are talking about cows.


I've never seen a purple cow
and I don't want to see one
but I can tell you any how,
I'd rather see one than be one!

Name five things that contains milk ?
Cheese, Butter, Yoghurt, and two Cows.

Does a (Green) Pepper contains milk ?
Yes, cut the top off, through the milk in, and there you go.

If you make a cow laugh, will milk come out its nose?

Did you here about the cow that backed into an airplane propeller?

It was an udder disaster.

I was wondering when the farm jokes would begin. Thanks Bumbles :)

One farmer says to another farmer that he had to shoot one of his cows?
"Was it mad?" asks the other farmer.
The farmer replies "Well it wasn't very happy about it".

I saw a nursing shirt at a maternity store once that read "I make milk...what's your super power?" I thought that was pretty funny!