I might be blind but I havent seen a thread on gags/jokes for a kids age. For an example.

How old are you? Im 5. Yeah I know your alive how old are you? 5! oh 25 wow you must be married are you married? No im 5! Oh did you say 5? yes! So youve been married for 5 years, congratulations!

Got anymore for different ages?

I've seen and heard other clowns doing these types of jokes but have never done many myself. This is a great idea for a thread. Thanks Cornflake. And since I missed you coming in the door let me welcome you to the Forum.

OK another one to get the ball roling, COME ON PEOPLE!

How old are you? 10. Wow I was 10 when I was your age.

I usually ask how old they are...

how old are you - 5
25 WOW...You don't look that old...You must have a driver's license...do you think you could take me to McDonalds later for a giraffe burger...It just goes on and on...

or here's my favorite...

What's your name...John...or Ashley (whatever their name is)...WOW! That's such a cool name..can I borrow it...? I'll give it back in about an hour...but if someone asks me what my name is I'd like to be able to tell them its Ashley...You can use my name for a little while if you like...They get a kick out of this...

But I know I'm getting old...when that kids comes up to me later...and says See ya later Ashley...and it totally goes over my head...



I was substitute teaching yesterday and had a 2nd grade class...We were reading a story about a tiger that eats people...

So I ask...has anyone here ever been eaten by a tiger...it kinda left them perplexed...okay...how many of you have ever eaten a tiger...

If I do animal tricks...I ask what sound a cow makes, what sound a dog makes...chicken...frog...so forth and so on until I ask what sound the giraffe makes...

Hahaha nice vslg1.

At the start of my show I say "Hi everyone, My name is cornflake. but my real name is samantha dont tell anyone".

(thats the stlye and type of homour for Cornflake though)

When I was One,
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.
When I was Three
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.
When I was Five, I was just alive.
But now I am Six, I'm as clever as clever,
So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever. (A. A. Milne)

The classic mishearing gag!It's one of my favorites!

I usually do this:

Are you married? (Kid: Nooooooooo )

Ooookkkkk!And how many kids do you have? (KiD: Noneeeeee )

Twenty one?????WOW!!!Twenty one kids in that age?How long have you been married??? kid: I don't have KIDS!!!!

Ok.I understand.You don't have children but ,surely,you have grandchildren!Are you a grandpaaaaaaaaa at that age???Oh my god!You don't even have grey hair!

:)

Most of the times I get a great reaction so I continue to ask silly questions.

Also,sometimes I yell at them with my funny voice:

Ok, you,smart kids!!!

Who's gonna be the first that 'll come up here, stand next to me aaaaaaaaaand...( before I end the sentence, all hands are raised up,cause they think that I need a magic assistant.Then I continue... ) anddddddd PUT his trousers off!!! Or if I don't want things to be so "spicy"... andddddddd knock his head with my huge hammer( if I say it right in English - sorry )

They laugh all together and then I say that I need a magic assistant:
Wow!All hands raised!
But I need the best one!!!

Who's the quickest? KIDS:Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Who's the smartest? KIDS:Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Who's the best student? KIDS:Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Who's the strengthest? KIDS:Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

and kids reply MEEEEEEEEEEE with a loud voice in every question,so suddenly I say

Who's the silliest??? KIDS: ( some of them answer MEEEEEEEEEE as they did in the previous questions and all of them lol )

I love these jokes!

They are easy and can really warm up the audience,not only kids.Usually parents laugh too.

My first name is not always so easy to pronounce for the kids...

Its ALAWADA...sounds just like its spelled...

So I invite 1 person up to tell my middle name since its always the magic word...but its a secret because everytime I tell someone they laugh at me...so I tell the secret middle name to 1 child and I position myself so that it appears as though I'm whispering it to them but in reality I'm saying it loud enough for everyone to hear....

everyone hears it...starts laughing...I pretend as if I said it in a low voice...And the person sits back down...after I confirm that its a bonafide secret between us two...I ask everyone for the magic words (usually during the coloring book) and they scream out my middle name which is boom-shaka-laka...always said with a wiggle and a twist...I look at the person (usually the birthday child) as if I'm shocked because they gave away our secret....My promise to the kids is next time I'll say it LOUDER so NOONE will hear it...

They love it...


Kleanthis...I love the delayed question...I may have to borrow that one

Thanks for the great posts.

Haha love it Kleanthis.

I use to say who wants lollies! kids:Meeeeeeeee!! Well there lollies at tthe shop you can go buy them.

Who wants to see more tricks kids:Meeeeeeee!!
Who wants a balloon kids:Meeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
Who wants $100 kids: MeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Who wants to eat grass kids Meeeeeeeee!!!!!

Then I say OOOOOkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk thennn... and let the show go into an akward bit.

Q. How old are you?
A. 6

Response... You're sick? a(hand on their forhead) You don't look sick, hey somebody... call the vet! He says he's sick!

A. No silly I'm SIX,

Oh sorry, I thought you said you were sick. I was 7 when I was your age!

OK another one to get the ball roling, COME ON PEOPLE!

How old are you? 10. Wow I was 10 when I was your age.

I usually ask: 'How old are you?' and the kid goes: '6'.
'What??? 60?? Wow, what a grandpa we have here!'
And then the kid goes: '6'!
'What??? 66??? Then we need to take you to the nursing home! This is children's birthday!'

With this one you can't miss and you can adapt it to any age up to ten :)

Also, I don't know if this ever happened to you, but some kids reply: 'Six and a half'.
Then I say: 'At least it's not six and a quarter' :)

I might be blind but I havent seen a thread on gags/jokes for a kids age. For an example.

How old are you? Im 5. Yeah I know your alive how old are you? 5! oh 25 wow you must be married are you married? No im 5! Oh did you say 5? yes! So youve been married for 5 years, congratulations!

Got anymore for different ages?

So.. how long have you been 5? A long time? Twenty years or so? Wow that's a long time. How old were you when you were born? Is that in people years or dog years?

So here is one I been doing for years, what ever age group and what ever grade level the kid is in…. SO what grade are you in, oh 4th, so How long have you been there, how many years have you been in 4th grade? Oh this is your first year in the 4th grade, I got you beat I spent 5 years in the 4th grade………. and then the finally put me back to the 3rd grade... And that was a lot of work, so I feel your pain........ It REALLY is gold, I dont know why but thats one of my little thingies that work great

When people ask my age, I give them some ridiculous number like 3 or 125.

I'm not very big, and when people say I should eat more, I say I wear minimizer clothes and they work quite well.

So here is one I been doing for years, what ever age group and what ever grade level the kid is in…. SO what grade are you in, oh 4th, so How long have you been there, how many years have you been in 4th grade? Oh this is your first year in the 4th grade, I got you beat I spent 5 years in the 4th grade………. and then the finally put me back to the 3rd grade... And that was a lot of work, so I feel your pain........ It REALLY is gold, I dont know why but thats one of my little thingies that work great

When I ask "what grade are you in?" They return with the answer, let's say 1st grade. I'll then say with much enthusiasm...." First Grade??? I loved first grade! I loved first grade so much I stayed three times!

I do a simmilar bit. I warm up the kids under the guise of wanting to get to know them better, so i tell them i am going to ask some questions and if you want to answer yes just raise your hand. I usually ask questions that pertain to the event, like who likes cake, who likes presents, ect, I get them going faster and faster until i ask who has been bad this year? I always catch a few. Works really well if opening for Santa. I am always answering yes by raising my hand until the end when I go half way up and pull it back at the last minute.

them was some funny gags/jokes. there was gr8t

Hi

I usually ask how old the child is and if they say 6 i say oh no your sick and get out a large thermometer. (it works quite well)

I also say dont you think its a little chilli in here and get out a plastic chilli.

But i would love to venture further than just having them 2 props can any one sugest and more props i couldd use for sight gags?

Regards

Kane The Klown :)

I use a zipper banana for a phone. An mp3 player in you pocket with an old fashioned phone ringing tone that you can activate then search though your pockets/case or where every it is stored looking for your phone. Pull out the zipper banana and hold to ear. Say Hello!, again Hello! louder. Scratch your head look puzzled (don't actually look at the banana) Shake it hard! When kids say that it's not a phone,say What? then after they repeat Look at the banana phone like looking for the first time. Act scared say Woah! and throw it up a little and catch it. Then smile and say Hey I was hungry anyway I missed lunch. Open zipper banana and take a bite from a real banana inside. Simple gag bit. Just don't forget to clean it out after the performance (experience talkin' here).
Sara K.