I thought I would start a thread where you can post quick one liners that you can say when you are twisting up animals. I find it's good if you have a joke to go with the animal you are making, it helps to pass the time while the kid is waiting very patiently for said animal.

I'll start with a horse balloon......

This balloon doesn't talk, you know why?...........
Because its a little horse! (hoarse) get it, huh? :roll:

For a giraffe.......

What's worse than an elephant with a runny nose?.......
A giraffe with a sore throat!

For a weiner dog......

What did the hot dog say when he won the race?
I'm the weiner!

For a frog.......

What is a frog's favorite food?
French flies!

Just remember I didn't say they had to be good. :roll: :lol:

For love birds...

What do you call 2 birds in love? Tweethearts

For snail....

Whats the worlds strongest creature? A snail - he carries his house on his back

For bees...

Why do bees have sticky hair? They use honey combs.

For dinosaur...

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Chickens weren't invented yet.



You did say they didn't have to be good right!!

GiGi :)

For a cat.......

What's my cat's favorite breakfast cereal you ask?

Shredded tweet!

When I'm twisting balloons, I say "People ask me if they often pop."

"Only once."

Ashes

I make a thousand-and-one different animals, but they all look like dogs.

Ashes

For an elephant.......

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!

Whenever a baloon pops I tell them that was a WEASEL...POP! Goes the weasel


also I make small ballon animals and use the excess balloon (the uninflated part) to tie it to the child's wrist like a corsage or a blracelet. Whenever I make a TURTLE I tell the kids "he may look like a watch, but dont try and tell time with him cause he runs slow."

whats a birds favorite drink?

Cheep Beer!

Ya get it?.....cuz birds cheep....nah .... I know.....nope I wont quit the dayjob.

working restaurants, I try to make either hats or smaller animals (turtles, flowers, bees, hummingbirds, mice, songbirds, and parrots) and use the excess balloon to tie it to the childs wrist like a bracelet. It helps to keep the balloon animal out of the way of their food.

But - keeping on subject - when I make a turtle, I tell them that although it may look like a watch (setting on their arm) that it wont work as one because IT RUNS SLOW ALL THE TIME.

Aslo, whenever I am asked to make a dog (Which everyone knows and I just dont like doing because its so simple) I tell them that dogs arent allowed at the table because they beg for food and spill the water.

If they are really insistent about wanting a dog , I will give them one AFTER they have eaten - like I said, balloons get in the way of the food if they are too large (and that means I cannot make an Octopus for anyone)

I see this is an old thread, but I just came across it.

Dogs -Do you know where you put this dog if he gets too noisy?
The barking lot!

We can name him "Timex". He's a watch dog.

Any other animal - make a barking noise and say "Wow! This monkey (or whatever) is really smart - she speaks a foreign langauge!"

Why did the _____ cross the road?
Answer: It was the chicken's day off
or
To show the chicken how it was done.

Twisting balloons keeps me off the streets
And in your houses

Twisting helps support my favorite habits
Eating and sleeping inside

For those of you who are not aware, Balloon HQ - Educating the World About Balloons and Balloon Art (http://www.balloonhq.net) (or .com they both work) is a phenomanal site with tremendous (some say prodigious) amounts of information concerning balloons. Check out the articles page (and the article archieves) as well as www.balloon.com/faq (http://www.balloon.com/faq) And concering this thread a specific page: Balloon HQ presents: Balloon Jokes and One-liners (http://www.balloonhq.com/faq/twister_jokes.html) I thought about posting them here but there are simply too many.

Fifi - good to see you back! How are you doing these days? Are you clowning much, practicing much, or just enjoying the winter weather?

My middle girl said, "Can you make me a dragon?"

I said:

"POOF! You're a dragon!"

Fitzwilly,

I'm doing great and working a lot! But I think you may have me confused with another clown. I'm new to this website last year, have been clowning for 10 years in Northern New York.

Do I have a twin somewhere? Actually I am a twin so I guess the other Fifi D. Clown would be our triplet (or clowntuplet).

Nope! It's you. You joined right about the time I became active on the Forum and then you dissappeared. I just didn't bother to check your folder to remind myself that you have that much experience clowning. Did you go to the COAI convention up your way (was it Albany) about 5 years ago? I was there.

I didn't think anyone noticed me...thanks.
I couldn't make it to that Albany convention unfortunately. They don't get that close very often. A convention is definitely on my to do list! That or clown camp within the next few years. I'm pretty much the only show in town here since my mentors moved about 5 years ago, so I'm pretty busy. I do try to keep learning and trying out new goofiness to keep things fresh.

What kind of dog loves to take a bath?
A shampoodle!

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure! They're very scentimental!

If this dog gets too noisey - put him in the barking lot.

If you don't want your dog to smell, squeeze his nose.

Thorns may hurt you and men desert you and sunshine turn to fog.
But your never ever friendless if you'll only have a balloon dog!
Sara K.

I really like that, Special Kz -- so much that I want to use it as my Facebook status. Do you recall where it came from? Did you write this? It is quite profound. In fact, I'd like to conclude tomorrow's "Balloons 101? lecture with this.

Ha! Pickles, it is a poem. I found it online just changed it into balloon dog. According to this website it is by Douglas Mallock Dog Poems and Verse for You to Enjoy (http://www.dogquotations.com/dog-poems.html)
I was just doing a search a while back for poems to say when I'm twisting and I found that one about dogs and liked it. I thought he was probably a famous poet that everyone knew kind of like Frost. Shows how much I know about poetry. I just google searched his name but didn't find much. Maybe you can find more about him.
Sara K.

Bee balloon....Knock Knock
Who's there?
Zombies
Zombies who?
Zombies make honey, and Zombies just fly around...

then I tie the bee on a fully blown 260 and make it fly around