We got an official diagnosis of ADD today for our oldest son, Eddie. Needless to say, it was a diagnosis we were hoping not to get, but at least we have an answer for ourselves and for Eddie as to why he's struggling with himself.

It's hard to be concise with my thoughts, so I numbered them to keep this from becoming a book! :P

1. The doctor gave Scruff, me, and Eddie's teacher new forms to fill out to get a better history of Eddie's behavior so she can make sure it's ADD and not ADHD. We're also having Scruff's mom fill one out since she often has the kids over to her house for play dates and sometimes for overnights.

2. Scruff's mom is not handling this well. She isn't convinced that the doctor knows what she's talking about. When Eddie was one or two, he bit my candy thermometer in half and Mom is convinced possible damage from mercury poisoning could be what's causing his problems. I told her this was genetic and not caused by outside sources, but she wouldn't listen and kept talking about her theory. She is panicking and in denial. She doesn't want Eddie to have ADD, so she's trying to come up with some other possibility for his problems. Scruff called her tonight (my suggestion) to comfort her and explain to her, but as usual, it was like talking to a brick wall.

3. Now we have a decision to make about medication. For many years, the only things I've heard about Ritalin and other stimulants has been extremely negative. As I'm doing my research, I see experts and national associations explaining that Ritalin is essentially an all-day long caffeine fix. The child takes it in the morning, and by evening it's worn off. It does not last for days in the body, and is safer than other drugs. I told the doctor about my brother and she said his troubles were very prevalent with another medication he was taking at the time (Haldol) and Ritalin has not ever been known to cause those problems. I would love to know how a stimulant helps instead of worsens the disease, but it is a physiological, weird little quirk!

4. The severity of the disorder. If the disorder is not severe enough, we might be able to put Eddie in behavior therapy and counselling to help him learn how to cope with these problems instead of medication. A lot will depend on these forms we fill out and how severe the doctor thinks his disorder is. It's not all or nothing; there are degrees of severity.

5. Cooperation from his teacher. She seems to be very strict, sometimes a little unfair in her discipline. She's not horrible, just very firm. I hope she will understand this disorder as we explain it to her, and that she'll be cooperative.

6. Eddie is so frustrated with himself, and he's constantly putting himself down and internalizing everything. It really hurts to see him do it, but it's a common problem with children who have this disorder. We hope that when we get him help, he'll remember where he gets his self-worth (and it's not from things he does or what others say about him!) His grades have been slipping since his problems have gotten worse, so we're hoping as we get him treated, those will begin climbing back up again.

If Scruff and I have to put him on meds to help him get back on track, we will not hesitate to do it. We just want to take this cautiously to make sure we're making the right choices for him in order to help him feel like his old self again.

If any of you have children, grandchildren, nieces, or nephews with ADD, and you have some helpful advice to share, I'd love to hear it. Thank you!

First of all I hope you get a second opion
My grand son was said to have add but it turn out to be an allegy to nutra sweet so now he dosent drink or eat any thing with it and he is fine

Thanks, Jamz. We will be discussing allergies with his pediatrician the next time we see her.

No two children are alike same with teachers, two of my nephew are ADHD, one on meds doing well, the other is home schooled [recommended by his Dr.] and on no meds. Both are doing well and the one not on med is easier for me to handle at times than the one on the meds, the one on the meds is also considered gifted and talented.

A learning disability is just that, it doesn't mean that they are not intelligent [smart], My middle child is 16 and because she never had behavioral issues, always did her work, and was passing; it took me til the 6 grade to get her tested, then they found she was on the first grade reading level, and dyslexic as I had feared, her disability is listed as language comprehenion problem, also a short term memory deficit.. She's now in the 11 grade, gained greatly this last few years in high school, and in college prep. classes. A lot of her success is due to a truely gifted resource teacher who has helped her make gains and has also been my go between with teachers that don't follow the IEP [individual education plan]. Every year is seem I get a teacher that doesn't understand or believe in learning disabilities. I know this is long, but I can't stress enough, be there for the education plans, make sure each year each teacher is obeying the IEP [by law they have to], don't be afraid to speak up, even take it to the principle or higher if needed.

Thanks for sharing that, Sue!

AD is actually a neurological (biological) disorder. I'm glad to say that Eddie does not have any learning disabilities. In fact, I'd say he leans more toward the gifted side. In some subjects he far surpasses his peers. When he was in 3rd grade, his teacher was going to the 6th grade teacher for spelling words difficult enough to challenge him. I think the main reason his grades are slipping is because he can't focus. Before his symptoms began to increase, he was getting all A's and B's. I think he'll be able to take his grades back up once he begins treatement.

Davey, on the other hand, well...I've noticed a tendency for dyslexia in him. He comes by it honestly. I have a mild form of it, and his great-uncle on his dad's side has bad dyslexia. Doesn't keep him pressing on. He gets pretty good grades, all things considered.

Anyway, I appreciate your post. I think Eddie's condition is such that he'll need medication. I don't think it's controllable without it. We've been trying to control it without medication, and we're definitely struggling. I don't have the smarts to homeschool. I can probably teach up until 4th grade level, and then things begin to get beyond me.

Good luck,

Each state is different in how they do things, ADD, and ADHD are considered learning disabilities here, if you have attention deficit and have trouble focusing, it makes learning harder. Then ADHD add hyperactiviy, makes it harder for a child to be still long enough to learn, ADHD tend to be the children that mis-behave because they can't seem to stay in their sits, and pay attention. Teacher are usually quick to refer them for testing, in my Case Amanda had neither disorder but had alot of medical issues when she was small and they kept telling me she just had to catch up, but I knew better. Intially they did not want to test, I contacted a Dr. a Winthrop University, who then refered me back to the school , but informed me of my legel right to testing if I ask for it, Well I asked just after the Christmas break, because I also wanted to talk with her eye Dr. and he backed me up. The school was so far behind, she had to wait until the next school year. It was a total shockwhen they got the testing completed, even the principle called to appologize. Amanda was passing with B&C but it was a struggle and doing homework every night from the time she got home to 11or 12 each night just to get done. Now she zooms through and is top in her Spanish class [mostly orally done so she excells], has 2 A and 2 B's. last report.

I have a certain degree of A.D.D. and learning disabilities. It surfaced in the 50's and the 60's back in the days when it was called "Lazy, Crazy, and stupid," everything went too fast for me and I passed all grades " on condition" one know it all teacher told my parents that "Lloyd is just against learning"l What a statement.

I am now taking a medicine called Strattera for adult A.D.D.. I have been told that there are naturapathic treatement for this condition but I'm not that knowlagable about it- It might be worth investigation. From what I'v heard about Ritilin it seems logical to have doubts.

As horrible as it seems I would think that the teacher should be viewed for how he or she deals with this and don't view the tacher as a final authority as my parents did.

Take what I say for what it's worth--I'm no expert , just a one time learning disabled child who remembers what It was like.

Thanks so much for your input, Walmoe1 and Sue!

I'm so glad your daughter is doing so much better and excelling in her classes. That has to do alot for her self-esteem!

We are doing this second round of paperwork so the doctor can make sure it's not hyperactivity. He does show a couple signs of hyperactivity, but according to the research I've done, I'd say he best fits the AD description.

Another friend of ours suggested asking the doctor about Asperger's Syndrome. It's symptoms can mimic AD, but it's a different disorder. I looked that one up, too, and although I can see Eddie in some of it, it still doesn't seem to fit his problems like the AD diagnosis.

I wanted to take Eddie right to his pediatrician, but here in Michigan (at least in our county) we have to work with the school, too. I had to have the paperwork from the school psychologist before I could talk with the pediatrician. I see why now. It was extremely helpful to Dr. Dy in making her diagnosis because the primary testing was already completed for her to examine; it saves her and us a lot of time.

I have a certain degree of A.D.D. and learning disabilities. It surfaced in the 50's and the 60's back in the days when it was called "Lazy, Crazy, and stupid," everything went too fast for me and I passed all grades " on condition" one know it all teacher told my parents that "Lloyd is just against learning"l What a statement.

What a terrible thing to say! Even if the disease was not well-known, that was a bit harsh.

I'm glad your Strattera helps you. We are considering it. A friend of mine, who just recently quit her job as a pharmacist, recommended it. However, I'm not sure if Eddie will be good yet about swallowing a pill, and he must take it everyday without fail for it to remain effective. Around here, forgetfulness, even on my part and Scruff's, is sometimes a problem. There's also not been a lot of time to study any long-term side effects and wear-and-tear on the body from Strattera since it's still relatively new. That makes us a little reticent about it. But we'll still consider it if it's the right thing for Eddie.

You have to live with the disorder so I would say you're an expert. You know better than most what it's like. Kudos to you for working through it. I look at Eddie, and I can see what a difficult, daily struggle it is.