I recently discovered my eldest child (he's 14) on a web site called "MySpace". It is a site that allows every user there own little webpage that interacts with all others also in MySpace. While my son's page is relatively clean, as was the local boy he was communicating with, the boy had picutres of (what the site says) people in his Network. I had my son click on some of these people! OH MY - - - !!!! Now my family comes from faith-based Christian values, but what I saw coming out of 13, 14 ,15 year old children's mouths, and the way they expressed themselves to others! Am I leading a life of tunnel vision here? I thought I was fairly "hip" to what my children were into (luckily my son is not), but apparently there are THOUSANDS of parents whom either have no idea what their children are doing on that website, or condone it, and therefore should be punished themselves (and I'd love to be the one to enforce that)! Not to mention that predators can mix and even masquerade as a child! I suggest any concerned clowns on this Forum check out the site (even if you need to join) and see what our youth are being subjected to without even leaving their room. Who needs TV anymore, it is far worse on their PC!

Guess no one else has an issue with this? :?

don't use it..

My 12 yr old got interested in MySpace from some kids at church, and your're right, some of it's weird. My daughter had set up a site so I snooped. I noticed her profile said she was older and saw that you're supposed to be 16. There was even a way to turn in underage users. When I called her on the lie she had to tell to be there she backed off and quit. So far, so good. We keep the computer out in the open and snoop regularly. There is parental snooping software if you need it. I also point out every on-line related abduction story, the latest one I heard involved MySpace chat rooms, so she knows it's not all fun and games. Wish we could raise her in more innocence, but can't take the risk. So, snoop, talk, pray, be the parent, apparently many adults are not.

I've never used MySpace, but I just read this article about it (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10272868/). At the end is a very thought provoking passage:
What does a MySpace profile reveal? And what, if anything, could parents do if they knew about them earlier? If the parents had been aware of the numerous drug references present in Mellie and Maria's profiles, could they have provided them counseling before it was too late?
I don't think sites like this are necessarily bad--and in fact this and instant messaging seems to be the preferred form of after-school socializing these days, so to keep a kid out of it entirely might not be good for their social development--but I would second Bunkers's advice about "snooping". Only I would call it "keeping an eye on your child and his/her friends to see what's going on in their lives so you know when to step in". :wink: After all, it's publicly posted, so no privacy issues.

Thanks for your response Bunker and Michelle. Yes we can say we "snoop", "monitor" or whatever want to call our parental overseeing, but I ask all those interested, to start clicking on some of those profiles of kids around your children's age. YOU KNOW YOUR KIDS ARE! Whether we want to say our kids are, good or obedient is fine, but I guarantee you they are influenced by what the "other" kids have in their profiles. It is peer-pressure expressionism to the max. There is music, titalizing displays for all ages...14 on up! I suggest you do more than snoop...investigate! Then tell me if you think this website is suitable for your child. Yes there are good kids with profiles on the website, but for every good kid, I see 3 or 4 questionable "FRIENDS" attached to their profile. Many are older indiviuals that are scantily dressed and in overly revealing poses. I guess I am disappointed with how the younger generation feels they must express themselves to others nowadays...you know...be hip...be with the "in" crowd. Thanks to all on Clown Forum for your listening! The Forum is really one of the last public platforms I see for wholesome dialogue!

Red Clown Fred
A True American, Old Fashioned Clown

Fred, I talked with my daughter again after your post. We hadn't realized they lowered the age to 14. It was 16 this summer. Guess they needed more activity. We tried to log on to her page and her account was cancelled, I guess since she hadn't logged on in awhile. Fine with me, seemed to be okay with her, too. I'm sure there'll be some other thing come along. When do we parents get to relax? I know, never, my mom already warned me.

Bunker

I have found that 14 is a pretty standard age that most sites set as a minimum for people to agreeably participate in their registrated status. I don't know why 14 was chosen, however.

Most sites will have age 14 as the minimum age of participation because of The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) (http://www.coppa.org/), which basically requires more careful handling of information collected from children on web sites... must get parental consent, must not share with third parties, etc. Web sites aimed specifically at children have to comply all the time, but general web sites that happen to attract children 13 or under--and know of it--must treat their data according to the rules as well. I guess MySpace doesn't want to deal with all that :)

I recently discovered my eldest child (he's 14) on a web site called "MySpace". It is a site that allows every user there own little webpage that interacts with all others also in MySpace. While my son's page is relatively clean, as was the local boy he was communicating with, the boy had picutres of (what the site says) people in his Network. I had my son click on some of these people! OH MY - - - !!!! Now my family comes from faith-based Christian values, but what I saw coming out of 13, 14 ,15 year old children's mouths, and the way they expressed themselves to others! Am I leading a life of tunnel vision here? I thought I was fairly "hip" to what my children were into (luckily my son is not), but apparently there are THOUSANDS of parents whom either have no idea what their children are doing on that website, or condone it, and therefore should be punished themselves (and I'd love to be the one to enforce that)! Not to mention that predators can mix and even masquerade as a child! I suggest any concerned clowns on this Forum check out the site (even if you need to join) and see what our youth are being subjected to without even leaving their room. Who needs TV anymore, it is far worse on their PC!

Hi Red, checked it out, didn't see anything objectional in the few I saw-but I see what you mean loud and clear-too many potential problems.

whoa!! I think you all are being ridiculous concerning myspace!! Its a great way to connect with friends and family and keep in touch with everyone and not to mention meet great people. Its just like anything else, anywhere you can go you can interact with people anyways, only this time you are sitting at your computer and safely tucked inside you house. For all those who are fretting about the way your kids are expressing themselves online guess what?? its a reflection of parenting!! thats right guys, do you ever talk to your kids about the importance or self-image, have you ever talked to your kids about safely concerning the internet?? i mean you taught your kids to look both ways to cross the street but you cant tell them the importance of never giving away personal information because you never really know who you are talking to? I also would like to hope that you know if your kids ever caught you snooping they would know that they could never trust you again with anything! I mean what parent has to snoop in order to gain information about their child?? Do you read your daughters diary too?? I NEVER had to hide anything from my mother or father because i could talk to them about anything. how about expressing some interest into you childs/teenagers interests... like myspace!! maybe you should make one and you both can interact on it together?? You know the great thing about influences?? You can be influenced by anyone, now im not sure, but, im wondering how much do you think im going to be influenced by a drugaddicted, highschool drop out, time wasting someone or anyone on myspace that i could react with even Once a week than by my parents which i would live with for 18 years, see every day, talk to, hug, eat dinner with, go to church with, watch tv with, go to the doctor with, live my life with, now... just wondering who do you think will get the most influence?? You guys need to relax, your kids are fine, the more you shelter them the more ignorant they become and the the most vulnerable kid is the most ignorant one.

Geez!
I'm not talking FBI style wire-taps. When I said "snooping", I'm talking about seeing what kind of sites my kid visits on the web, so we can talk about safety and what kids are doing and what's going on in her world and all that other stuff. It's part of the parenting process you talked about, meme. I think we're on the same page with this. Sorry if my choice of words freaked anyone out. I don't think My Space is evil, it's just another communication tool us 21st century parents need to learn about.

Bunker

You do raise some good points, meme; I think the vast, VAST majority of kids turn out just fine. I know plenty of people who had awful childhoods by any standard but turned into incredible, caring people and good parents. And yeah, the Internet can be an influence, but you're in that the parents will always be the biggest influence of all.

I would like to keep this forum a place where everyone can express their opinions in confidence that they'll be respected and not judged or flamed for it though, so let's keep the language and tone pleasant, ok? Dissenting opinions are ok, but please don't say anyone is being ridiculous.

(Well, unless they're acting silly and throwing pies or something. Then you can call them ridiculous all you want.) :)

Thanks for an insightful post and welcome to the Clown Forum, meme!

myspaces is just a site to make someone money they dont care about security and stuff.

the site was designed to get kids to sign up. they no by getting kids to join the community kids are the people who will spread the word for them (advertising with kids)

its the latest fasshion in web advertising.

myspaces gets money from banners and stuff.

because of this the sites are not secure. if you say you are 18 u are 18.

children can view adult myspaces acounts easy aswell.

if a friend adds an adult myspace acount as a friend on his list and for example your son.doughter clicks on it well they get directed to an adult myspace acount. they might get a little promt saying are you 18+. they just click yes and they are in.


there are a load of problems with these types of sites for one they dont filter out pictures and they also dont filter out most words.

theres not much you cna reallly do to stop this form of advertising and websites. other than to stop kids having accsess to e-mails. due to 75% of myspace users go to myspaces because they get invites by friend by e-mail.

if you stop the e-mails you stop people finding out about myspaces and other sites like it.


the other thing you could do is just block the website?


if you are using internet explore go to:
tools
internet options
Security
Restricted Sites.

then type in http://myspaces.com/

click ok and apply. restart the internet explorer.

hope this helps.

Well, I was going to check into this as a possible additional web set up, but after reading the information here I don't think I will! :)

Hi guys...my son had really messed up my computer recently, but we finally got things back in order.

I wanted to respond to Meme, Fubbles, and Bips:

Meme, I understand your frustration, but having to guess, I would say you fit in the age category closer to the young adults who use MySpace. While you see it as simply a form of meeting friends and expressionism, there are younger children who can very easily veer into objectionable material without even realizing it. A comparison of MySpace on television would be if your child would be watching a kids program, cartoon, whatever, then up would pop a commercial of a girl in a thong, her "attributes" propped right up against the camera for 30 seconds. I think even you would call that inappropriate...though maybe you wouldn't! Read below...

Fubbles, I could not have explained it better myself! Thank you! MySpace has absolutely no filtering or supervision. Though their administrators say explicit material will be removed, I found more inappropriate material within 6 minutes of logging in. Here is an example and I will letter them for an easier directive: I went from my son's space "A" and clicked on a friend "B" of similiar age (he met on MySpace from another state). From "B" I clicked on a friend "C" who was older and had a lot of gothic material. From "C" I clicked on "D" who was a scantily clad lesbian 28 years old. Every friend of hers was very disturbing in appearance and content. I picked one "E", a female in her thirties, who had posted actual photos of naked individuals. From there it was an easy click to "F"...This creep had a close up of his penis plain as day!!! Now I consider myself a fairly good computer navigator, but I pale in comparison to how my son and his friends can swiftly conduct their way around the Net. I repeat, it took me six minutes!!! Those children who may have MySpace savvy, I'm sure much less. Needless to say, MySpace has been blocked in this household. I do plan on contacting them about their lack of security for minors! I just wanted to make sure other moral minded clowns here on the Forum were aware of what their children may "come accross" in this latest Internet craze.

Bips, while I'm glad your conviction is such as mine, I do see the potential of a website such as MySpace being a great catalyst for all clowns. Maybe with a little persuasion from concerned individuals as us, we could help correct the course of this website. Just a thought!

Thanks to all for you comments and support!

R.C.F.

Oh yes, I didn't want to leave out my So Cal buddy Bunker! Don't feel you have to apologzie for being a "snoop". Statistics will show Meme to be wrong in her parenting analagy, Children Do Need Their Parents To Be Authoritative! That is much more important than trying to be their pal, their friend, one of the gang...that's what children of their same age are for! So Bunk my buddy, if you, THE PARENT, deem it appropriate, "snoop away"!

R.C.F.

Yahoo's "360" profiles are sorta like that with linking of friend to friend profiles, including whatever pictures they want to put up (well, they occasioanly will exercise a little discretion to remove naughty picts if there are complaints). I fear that this is just the general direction which things are heading. I don't know how avoidable it wil ultimately be. The only thing which can ultimately be done is to keep an eye on your kids and teach them how to use good discretion and judgement in becoming men and women of virtue.

A web site is only as good as the people running it
My grand daughter uses my space to talk to friends from school
But she is also strickly monitored by her parents and so are her friends
She does not have a problem with this She feels they are not snooping but just watching out for the bad guys
Also if I remember right we had a few weirdies come on this site but they were removed that is the difference between a lot of sites
tThis is the only site that has been approved for my grand daughter to use with out montioring and she will be joining us soon .This is because of how this site is run and the people on it

its pretty good i think although as was pointed out its just not suitable for children. if it was an all-adult zone it would be much safer.. its a shame cos its got great features (eg great music pages on virtually all bands/artists)
lucy :)

Yea Its good to know what your child might be looking at & the younger they are the more you need to know cuz there are freaks out there & if the kid is rased right they will know your not hovering over them like a lion about to ponce at any min if they make a mistake & click something they weren't supsot to see cuz i came across links that said one thing & turned out to be something else

Well, as I teenager myself, I feel like I should put out my opinion.

MySpace is no different than any other online blog. (LiveJournal, Xanga, etc...) It's just the newest.
Also, there are features that allow only friends to see someone's profile, blogs, etc.. There are also options that require the last name or email of the person on MySpace, so there is less risk of strangers invading.

I think children just need to be educated well. Monitoring excessively is not good, as it causes rebellion. (and I speak frome experience.) Don't be afraid to set rules. Don't be afraid to get your own MySpace account, and go look at your child's page once in a while, just to see who they're talking to.

Really, if you monitor them, make sure they know that it's not them you don't trust; it's everyrone else. (my dad tells me that about guys when he gives me lectures on dating...it's me he doesn't trust, it's the guy. :P)

I can see both good and bad on this topic..l. I guess because being in my mid twenties puts me right in the MIDDLE! I understand why the younger crowd uses Myspace, and I have a page myself. I had a friend from 2nd grade in elementary school that found me and we are now able to communicate again after several years .. How neat is that! BUT.... It is NOT at all appropriate for kids or even young teens (in my opinion.) I have never seen the "male private parts" that were discussed in a previous post, but I have seen many females who portray themselves in ways that disgust me! I know that because of my age this makes me seem very "un-cool" or old fashioned, but these girls are setting themselves up to get hurt... and most are old enough to make wise decisions on their own, so I guess it is either lack of parenting in previous years or, like mentioned before, simply PEER PRESURE! How Sad :cry: I am thankful that this is a safer alternative; with caring, concerned clowns... and I think it is perfectly OK to "snoop" on our children if it is for safety... although "keep an eye on" may sound nicer than "snoop" :D I have found some scary things about clowns while doing internet searches and did find a clown on Myspace who's front page said "Convicted Child Molester Seeks Male Companion" OH MY GOSH!!! :o I do not understand how this clown gets any business! Who would hire someone like that? And he openly states this on his front page!! So yes, I think Myspace is capable of having benefits, even for clown advertising, but it is also capable of having very frieghtening material on there... especially for children! I think the most important thing for all of us parents to remember is to raise our children the best we can and teach them morals and values early on, and when they are older.... even with peer presure, they will remember those morals and know in their heart what is truly right! Good Luck to all you clown parents.... it's sounds like you are all doing an awesome job at being involved in your children's lives!! :P

...I think the most important thing for all of us parents to remember is to raise our children the best we can and teach them morals and values early on, and when they are older.... even with peer presure, they will remember those morals and know in their heart what is truly right! ...

I think you hit the nail on the head! Parenting is definately not sonething to be taken lightly.

Being a parent is probably the hardest job in this world. When I look back now on all the crap my parents had to put up with from my brother and I...between him leaving at 17, getting married at 18, dropping out of college, job hopping...now I'm leaving at 17, fallen out of religion, and am talking about moving out of the country, and dying my hair pink, I'm surprised they haven't both had heart attacks at this point. I don't know how they've managed to raise us, and put up with all the craziness.

Hats off to parents...

Yes, I've heard of it, and we specifically have a block on our computer to keep it all pure and simple. My kids are not allowed onto the internet without adult supervision. It's just TOO dangerous and anything can pop up to entice them to get to something too easily. It's scary what they could see without me knowing. Until they are of the age of accountability, I"M guarding their hearts, eyes, and ears.
A friend of mine's sister in law who's 14 put on her myspace that she's 16, and her quote under her picture says "Stalk me, Please" Kinda scary. God help us all. :cry:

A lot of ppl don't see any thing wrong with my space but have you ever seen some of the pic ppl put on there it's kinda geting a lil crazy I have A my space but if i had Kids there is know way i would let them on there. My dad lets my LiL brother and every time iam over there i try to tell him he shouldn't let him get on that sit. my space is even leting naked Pic's on there sit now and thats no lie. As a Youth Pastor at first when it first started I thought it was pretty cool but now it's geting crazy and they are leting ppl put what ever they want on there. I stoped gong on there after I found out they we leting ppl put naked pic's on. But thats just My thoughts on it Lucy still get's on there like every day.

:P Jenzo the clown

Lucy--the sinner...Just kidding