The_Princess_of_Bozonia
11-24-2005, 12:28 PM
A man walked into a pet store and told the owner, "I'd like to buy a parrot, and I want one that has already been trained to speak."
"We only have one parrot that's been trained, and he sure does speak up a storm," said the pet store owner. "I have to warn you though, his last owner was a sailor, so this parrot knows a lot of colorful language. We have to keep him in the back because of it."
"That's alright," said the man. "I'm sure I can train him out of that behavior." He bought the bird, took him home, and got his cage set up. No sooner than he finished, the bird let loose with a stream of profanity. The man immediately took the parrot out of his cage, said "No cursing!", and put him in the refrigerator for a minute. When he removed the bird, he asked "Do you understand what you did?" The parrot nodded bashfully.
"Do you have any questions?"
The parrot answered "No".
The next day, the parrot started cursing profusely again, so the man took the parrot out of his cage, said "No cursing!", and put the parrot in the refrigerator for five minutes this time. When he removed the bird, he asked "Do you understand what you did? Do you have any questions?"
"No.", the parrot answered, ashamed. And this time he behaved himself for a full week.
A week later, the bird forgot his training, and let loose again with another stream of profanity. Exasperated, the man put the bird into the freezer for a minute. When he removed the shivering parrot, he asked again "Do you understand what you did?"
The parrot quietly said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." The parrot spread one wing and bowed.
The man was stunned at the polite words and manner, and hoped this meant the parrot would not test the limits any more. He asked, "Do you have any questions?"
"Actually, yes." said the parrot. "Whatever did that poor turkey do?"
"We only have one parrot that's been trained, and he sure does speak up a storm," said the pet store owner. "I have to warn you though, his last owner was a sailor, so this parrot knows a lot of colorful language. We have to keep him in the back because of it."
"That's alright," said the man. "I'm sure I can train him out of that behavior." He bought the bird, took him home, and got his cage set up. No sooner than he finished, the bird let loose with a stream of profanity. The man immediately took the parrot out of his cage, said "No cursing!", and put him in the refrigerator for a minute. When he removed the bird, he asked "Do you understand what you did?" The parrot nodded bashfully.
"Do you have any questions?"
The parrot answered "No".
The next day, the parrot started cursing profusely again, so the man took the parrot out of his cage, said "No cursing!", and put the parrot in the refrigerator for five minutes this time. When he removed the bird, he asked "Do you understand what you did? Do you have any questions?"
"No.", the parrot answered, ashamed. And this time he behaved himself for a full week.
A week later, the bird forgot his training, and let loose again with another stream of profanity. Exasperated, the man put the bird into the freezer for a minute. When he removed the shivering parrot, he asked again "Do you understand what you did?"
The parrot quietly said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." The parrot spread one wing and bowed.
The man was stunned at the polite words and manner, and hoped this meant the parrot would not test the limits any more. He asked, "Do you have any questions?"
"Actually, yes." said the parrot. "Whatever did that poor turkey do?"