Needed: church and SOUTHERN Humor!

Jitterbug · #1 (**permalink**) 08-01-2007, 08:31 PM

We're having a talent show at Church in September, and I'm having Jitterbug's church debut. Our pastor is from Kentucky, and drives a FORD--so any jokes or skits you know about the south, Ford trucks, or church in general would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks ahead of time! Miss and love you all!
Jitterbug!

Scruffy · #2 (**permalink**) 08-03-2007, 05:04 AM

Moon Pies, RC Cola, And don't forget NASCAR!

Jamdealie · #3 (**permalink**) 08-03-2007, 05:41 AM

You're welcome to use this one. You'd need at least 3 or 4 people. See

"Clown Skit: Late Train" via YouTube

Or maybe?

"Clown Skit: Ringy Dingy" via YouTube

Jamdealie · #4 (**permalink**) 08-03-2007, 05:48 AM

Me again. Ya know what. Maybe the 'Father Abraham' one would be better for the church gig? See

"Clown Dance - Father Abraham" via YouTube

Gladman · #5 (**permalink**) 08-06-2007, 08:33 PM

The kids in our school have done this one for many years. They get it fine. It's us oldies that make it funny cause we're the ones with the cluttered brains.

stitches · #6 (**permalink**) 08-07-2007, 11:18 AM

I have some church puns:

Holy book (or Holey book: book with holes in it)
Parting the Red Sea (A Wooden C painted red with hair on top, part with comb - to remind us that with God, all things are possible!)
Dove soap (to remind us that we can all be cleansed by the holy spirit)
Peace on Earth (or 'P's on earth to remind us to pray for peace on earth)

I'm sure there are many more!

Bonkers #361 · #7 (**permalink**) 11-08-2007, 01:32 PM

one skit that my alley did was while the MC of the show was opening the show one clown ran out and handed him a card (attenion the owner of the white ford pickup license plate number 123456 you have left your lights on)then here comes another clown with a card ( and your engine is running )here comes another clown with another card ( And your are parked in the tow a way zone) and another clown ( Don't worry about it being stolen the police are there ) and last clown ( your wife also called you forgot to do the dishes) We did it with 2 clowns and our MC we were at a nursing home and used the activies directors plate number

Fitzwilly · #8 (**permalink**) 11-08-2007, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jitterbug

Our pastor is from Kentucky, and drives a FORD--so any jokes or skits you know about the south, Ford trucks, Thanks ahead of time! Miss and love you all!
Jitterbug!

Ford trucks are already a joke. Make a banner that says CHEVY for him to put on his tailgate. There is a great list online of jokes for Fords.

Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead

Waldo · #9 (**permalink**) 04-05-2008, 08:28 PM

Here is a good joke to tell on your Pastor. You can add a little banter at the beginning to set it up. But the main part of the joke goes like this:

As a young minister, he was asked by the Bishop to hold a graveside service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As he was not familiar with the backwoods area, he became lost; and being a typical man did not stop for directions. He finally arrived an hour late. He saw the backhoe and the crew, who was eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

He apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, looked in where he saw the vault lid already in place. He assured the workers thaat he would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul.

As he preached the workers began to say "Amen", "Praise the Lord", and "Glory"! I preached and preached, like I'd never preached before: from Genesis all the way to Revelations. He closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to his car.

As he was opening the door and taking off his coat, the one worker said to the other, overheard one of the workers saying to another, you know I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years and I ain't never seen anything like that before.

Waldo

Pickles · #10 (**permalink**) 04-05-2008, 11:50 PM

Did you know that the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky? If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush. (I've lived in Kentucky, and I know that this is true!)