the great pun-off thread!

[sirlaffalot]

When he picked up the pieces did he find that he had time on his hands?

[Nettie Belle]

No, he told me he got some glass in his foot. I told him that time wounds all heels.

[applegirl]

Quote:
Originally Posted by pixcoco

Have you had that baby yet? I'm guessing not. By the way...good job sorting thru this stuff.

Thank you for the compliment and thank you for asking- and you're right- no baby yet (just contractions, they're not much fun though)

Ain't
Don't
Can't
Wasn't
Weren't

Well, golly, I guess I just had 5 contractions right there, that wasn't so bad! Maybe I'll have a few more and be all done soon I guess practice makes perfect.

[Blondie]

That's so sweet that you're having a new baby ... but be prepared for many changes!!

[Fifi D. Clown]

My sister's baby, Denise, is absolutely adorable, but so is her big brother, Denephew.
He's not much help with the baby though. You can't be a brother and assist her too!

[Pickles]

My friend was unsuccessfully trying to nurse her baby. The doctor suggested she try to pump, so she went to the gas station!

[Fifi D. Clown]

I hope that was unleaded!
My sister's doctor was going to deliver the baby Denise, but she had to go to the hospital instead.

[Pickles]

I hope she didn't end up in the eternity ward -- I hear that labor there seems to last forever!

[Blondie]

Well, that's because when there are too many patients for the maternity nurses to handle, they call a "Code Tears" which is a midwife crisis.

[Fifi D. Clown]

I think she was in the expensive care unit. Oh wait...that's pretty much the whole hospital!