the great pun-off thread!

[Sir Toony Van Dukes]

I hope he isn't lumbering around the forest with acorn on his foot. That wood be soo sad.

[Fifi D. Clown]

Yeah - but at least he's trying to Branch out into a new Field - he's going an ELMer's glue salesman.

[Nettie Belle]

You'd better keep him away from the horse chestnuts ... someone from the glue factory tends to make them pine for fir.

[MrsFix]

Wow. I don't think I'll ever get board with this thread.

[MrsFix]

Ashually, I need to get away from the 'pooter in order to spruce up a bit before my garage sale.

[Fifi D. Clown]

My husband doesn't like Fir me to go to garage sales, he's afraid I Maple out my wallet too much. But he Willow me to purchase one small item.

[Sir Toony Van Dukes]

I may be going out on a limb, but my friend never leaves a sale until without something small in the palm of her hand.

[MrsFix]

Take it frond me, palming stuff doesn't make for a great date.

Well, my sail is going, and I'm about ready to drown in the humidity. I'm going to go get ready for my *first* gig--hopefully without swimming in my own sweat...

[Nettie Belle]

My neighbor has been dating a new guy from the police force, but I'm a little worried about her ... he never wears any clothes and I asked her why and she just smiled and said he was on the sweat team so he can't.

[Fifi D. Clown]

I guess he is definitely not one of those "undercover" cops - his lights are probably always "flashing".

Good luck on your first gig Mrs. Fix!