Battle of the sexes thread

[sirlaffalot]

Thought I might try to start a new thread (if there isn't one already) of the infamamous battle of the sexes jokes. Starting with this one.

A Birthday Wish

A happily married couple was getting ready for bed one night, As the husband was getting undressed his wife was standing before the mirror. He casually asked her what she wanted for her birthday which was a couple of weeks away. Still looking at the mirror she sighs and says "Oh, I'd just like to be six again."

Two weeks later on the morning of her birthday he woke his wife up and had a bowl of Fruit Loops waiting for her. Then he took her to a carnival that was near their town. They had a great time laughing, riding the rides, eating hot dogs and cotten candy; while watching the clowns. Then the man took his wife to the movies where they had a large tub of popcorn and some candy. After the movie the woman's husband took her to the local pizza place where they shared a pizza and some lemonaid.

Later that evening as the exausted couple was getting ready for bed, the husband said to his wife. "Happy Birthday Dear, How'd it feel to be six again?" The man's wife looked at him with a puzzled look for a moment, then said "You dummy. I ment my dress size."

Moral of this story. Even when men listen, they still get it wrong.

[Willace-the-Clown]

At lease we try

[Sassy Frass]

Your point is?????

[Willace-the-Clown]

That we want to make you women happy its jsut our brains work differint

[Sassy Frass]

thank you and your right....

[Gladman]

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked.

The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered, "She said, "'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man."

[Grandpa Weatherbie]

My wife and I have the secret to a perfect marriage. Once a week we go out to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food.
She goes on Tuesdays and I go on Fridays.

Henny Youngman

[Chance Marmalade]

These sorts of jokes make men look so idiotic! Buster Keaton once said he'd never join the stuttering husband's "Y-y-yes dear" club. It seems the funniest jokes have that kind of a man in them though!

[Gladman]

Here ya go, Chance:

The airline pilot announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, It looks like we're going go have a crash landing, Please try to stay calm." One of the ladies on the plane began to scream hysterically, "I just want to feel like a woman before I die! Please, please somebody help me!" Just then a tall, muscular man began walking down the aisle while unbuttoning his shirt. When he reached the lady he said to her, "It needs ironing, and could you fold it too?"

(OK girls, I'm already running)

[Snickers the Clown]

Hahaha! We know you guys try. I'm good natured about both sides of the jokes. I just enjoy 'em all.