non-clown/ off-topic- all my personal issues...

[Nettie Belle]

Applegirl ... shouldn't you be heading off to the hospital? What are you doing sitting at this computer???

[applegirl]

Originally Posted by Jolly Well

Considered a middle ground? - maybe substituting 2-3 days a week?

As for clowning for extra income, unless you're somewhat established then it will not likely be as helpful as you are thinking.
...
In the end, do what you feel you need to do - just don't expect clowning gigs to solve your potential financial dilemas...

I've done some substituting...

Unfortunately, I'd pay $90/ day for daycare for 3 kids- and it was $60 for two... in my area, subbing pays around $75- $90/ day for one-day or short-term gigs, depending on the district (long-term gigs can be $100/ day, I did that for 2 months last spring- but those gigs are fewer between and more likely to go to the teachers willing to be there for the district when needed - as in , if I turn down all the one- day gigs, I'm not going to be at the top of the long-term list)

Actually, one of the reasons I did the 2 month gig last spring was to see if I was intimidated going back to work after a few months off, if it was very exhausting or difficult after so much time away- and I proved to myself that the job was energizing and refreshing and something I really enjoyed getting back to. So it's good to know- I really AM a teacher! It's not just a job I did for a while, it's part of me, that's cool.

Thanks for the two cents on the clown income. I suspected that between the time a person probably needs to build up enough of a reputation to start getting gigs reliably, and the prices you'd need to charge to be fair but still be reasonable enough to get calls- that it might not be really big money, especially at first.

Honestly, if I go the route of the 2nd job, I ought to do it with my husband's blessing and spend nights waiting tables, now that I think about it... It's the biggest money I've ever been able to earn in the shortest amount of time- so it would maximize the money earned for the minimum time spent away.

I got a couple of good thoughts in general from eveyrbody's posts.

First- just dropping a decision (I'm NOT going to work, so there)on my husband - is not the right thing. I think I probably knew that, but with a big involved situation, sometimes just breaking it into little parts and getting a little feedback makes the obvious parts of the decision easier to see for what they are...

Second, I'm not just a spoiled brat for wanting to stay home and enjoy my infant's infancy- or if I am, then I'm not the only one- it seems to be a common consensus that it's worth it to sacrifice a little bit of quality of life for that time with a baby- But then again, it's not worth TOO much sacrifice- a lot of people need 2 incomes to make ends meet- Well, that's a deep question, actually-

I think most folks could lower their standard of living substantially- get a smaller home, have a renter come in, have one spouse work multiple jobs, etc... to avoid putting the kids in daycare- but it's a matter, in my opinion, of how far can you drop your standard of living, without being resentful of each other and of the situation. So to me, it looks like my husband and I have to really discuss ways we can spend as much time with our infant as possible, without resenting each other for the sacrifices it takes to do it... Yikes, that is a deep, complex thing too- put as I obsess a little, and flesh out the issue for myself it feels less scary so that's great!

[applegirl]

Originally Posted by pixcoco

That is not to say you should sit and wait for that to happen. Just don't worry yourself to death over things that might not even happen, or even worse, things you have no control over.
If things change so can you.
Just ramblings of an old clown.
Eat dessert first.
worry less.
play with the kids.

Now this is something I think tahat will save the day for me if I can remember to act on it-

Just do my best with the info I have at any given minute, and try not to worry about it. I do know there's always a chance I could get a killer position right here in my hometown, I'd be THRILLED and also not be gone all that long commuting, and on my days off- there are plenty of 4-day weeks for teachers- I can be with the baby too... and the pay here is good, and I'd have that awesome kick- start to my career...

OR

My husband could get a massive promotion, and the money could be good enough that my working was not even an issue for now...

OR

My husband could be let go, and I could end up waitressing in the evenings this summer, taking interviews during the day, and grateful to take any full-time job I can get in the fall...

SO MANY what-ifs could play out given a little time, and if I've made any ultimatums or decisions about my own preferences, it would only add to the stress....

[Blondie]

Why don't you try and talk your husband into getting a part time job? Then you won't have to go back to work. Your labor will be soon, and your job will be very full time!!

[applegirl]

Originally Posted by Nettie Belle

Applegirl ... shouldn't you be heading off to the hospital? What are you doing sitting at this computer???

SO- the best solution right now is...

Um...

Have this baby- so I can get me a glass of wine with a clean conscience and just stop obsessing/ worrying!

Thank you all so much for your input and caring!

I actually came from the Doctor's office a couple of hours ago- TODAY was my due date, and I've had some contractions that make me suspicious that it's almost time- both last night and also last weekend. BUT the Dr. says.. although the baby is certainly ready, my body is not really making much progress yet... SO- he's pretty cool, if I haven't had the baby yet by Monday, I've got an induction scheduled at the hospital, I can go in and get this done, and meet this baby!

And then, I'll love it, cuddle it, etc...
Have a glass of wine...

And try to stay too focused on that to worry about my what-ifs!

I'll let you know how it goes afterwards- name, etc-

I've got one vote for Isabella Waldo, anybody want it to be a Michael James?

[Blondie]

How about Isabella Michael Waldo James?

[Calavera]

Originally Posted by applegirl

And then, I'll love it, cuddle it, etc...
Have a glass of wine...

You have that glass of wine, girl, you deserve it.

[applegirl]

And I'm funnier on wine than coffee-

so if we ever do meet at some clown convention (haha Calavera, but honestly, even for a nonclown wouldn't that be the people-watching opportunity of a lifetime?)

then we'll get together and argue over a bottle of cheap wine.

Better make that in Canada- you're still young...

But SERIOUSLY folks, wine can get expensive, and I'm a girl who likes fruitier tastes- my garage fridge is stocked with Boone's Farm. I get a little harassment from my friends but it is yummy and I can have a glass or two and not only NOT get snockered off my duff, I think it makes me a smoother, less frazzled mom on a long day with noisy kids (yep, I've done it before)

[Calavera]

I'd enjoy doing that with you, Applegirl. But I would have to wait until I'm 21 to do it in public. Now, in my mind, if I can decide who gets to run my country, smoke my brains out, sleep with a 60 year old man, and die for my country, I should be able to have a drink...so for now, I do it in private.

As for me, my choice of wine is Manishevitz. Mmmm, kosher....

[Pickles]

Applegirl:

After I read your post last night, I started pondering my own decision 13 years ago to give up a career and stay home with children. Did I do the right thing? If I could do it all over again, would I do the same thing?

It’s such a personal decision; there is no “once size fits all” answer. Nothing irks me more than career women who snub their noses at stay-at-home mothers, or stay-at-home moms who point their fingers at working moms, accusing them of neglecting their kids.

I have friends who would have gone bonkers if they’d given up their careers. They took their 12-week maternity leave, then happily trotted back to work and never looked back. I know other women who chose to stay home with their little dumplings, focusing solely on child-rearing year after y ear, and now, with children grown, have a very narrow definition of who they are as women. Who are they with no little ones to care for?

For me, I truly believe that staying home with the kids was the right thing to do.

Do I sometimes wish I had a fabulous career to brag about in the annual Christmas letter? Sure. Do I wish I had more money in my retirement account, that I was contributing more to the kids’ college funds, and most importantly, that I had a big bundle of cash for new clown toys? You bet. Do I worry about the stress my husband feels as the family’s sole breadwinner – especially in an environment where it seems no job is secure. Absolutely.

There were so many factors that influenced my decision not to go back to work-- moving 7 times in 12 years and a husband who works 13-hour-plus days -– just to name a couple. Sometimes new acquaintances look puzzled when I tell them I’m still home with my kids. After all, the kids are not toddlers anymore (I have three girls, ages 8, 11, and 13—so help me God) Maybe they don’t need me around every single moment anymore. But then I slap myself and remember what a naughty teenager I was -- sneaking out of the house at night and throwing keggers when the parents were out of town. My parents were so caught up in their own lives and careers, that they scarcely noticed their daughter’s shenanigans. When they did, I was rarely disciplined. I know that my little angels would never strive for the level of juvenile delinquency that I did, but, heaven forbid, if they do, I will be there to steer them back on the right track.

One thing I do regret is that I didn’t maintain a “foot in the career door.” After I quit my last “real” job. I had good intentions. Really, I did!

I have a journalism background. For the first couple years after I quit, I worked very hard to do at least a few freelance writing projects every year. This was not easily accomplished, since NONE of my kids napped. Ever. I recall interviewing a physician for a magazine article while, in the background, a 3-year-old whined incessantly for chocolate milk. I felt so unprofessional. And then we’d move again, and I’d have to completely re-establish professional contacts. Then I felt like my computer skills were so outdated and irrelevant.

Excuses, excuses, I know. I could have made it work if I had really wanted to.

I guess what I am trying to say is, that if you decide to stay home with your kids, maintain ties to your professional world. Stay in contact with your peers in education. Maintain your certification. Substitute teach a couple times a month—even if there’s nothing in it for you financially. Stay in touch with the world of teaching so that, when you do decide to go back to work, you don’t feel like you’re entering a frightening and foreign world.

Most importantly, follow your instincts and don’t let anybody EVER make you feel guilty about your decision. Ultimately, you know what’s best for you and your family.

Now go do some jumping jacks, clean your house, drink a quart of castor oil or do whatever it takes to get that baby out of your belly! Best of luck to you, Applegirl!