
06-03-2007, 09:18 PM
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Grand Poobah of Clowning
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So why DID the chicken cross the road?
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
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OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
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GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
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COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
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ANDERSONCOOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
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JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
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NANCY GRACE :
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
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PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
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MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
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DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
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ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
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JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
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GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
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BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
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JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
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ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
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BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C .. ... reboot.
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ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
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BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
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AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
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COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
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DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
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AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
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My Dog Can Lick Anyone
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The following 9 clowns laughed out loud at Gladman's funny post:
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06-04-2007, 01:58 AM
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Boss Clown/ Administrator
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To prove to the possum that it could be done!
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
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The following 4 clowns laughed out loud at Scruffy's funny post:
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06-04-2007, 07:42 PM
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COAI Regional Vice President Midwest
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IMMIGRATION REFORM AND THE CHICKEN:
Now that the chicken is on our side of thw road we should not ask how he got here. Nor should we send him back. I vote to create a path towards legalization for said chicken.
NASA:
We were not aware that our chicken was planning on crossing the road. All our psychological testing indicated that the chicken was content where it was. We have relieved the chicken of all duties and it will undergo more testing so that we can avoid this problem in the future.
Last edited by Fitzwilly; 06-05-2007 at 10:54 PM..
Reason: Spelling
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The following 4 clowns laughed out loud at Fitzwilly's funny post:
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07-12-2007, 12:31 AM
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Administrator
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Welcome visitors from 850 KOA Newsradio! If you liked these chicken jokes, I'd like to direct your attention to the "Register" button above you; sign up and getcher clown-tested jokes here on our forum. If you didn't like these chicken jokes, I'd like to direct your attention to the balloon marked "Souvenir Stand", where you can pick up Clown Forum-themed merchandise for the kids. Thanks and enjoy your stay!
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08-06-2007, 11:50 AM
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Grand Poobah of Clowning
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Join Date: Jul 2007
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Apperantly my first joke ever in my life was:
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Blue!"
Now to make sure that everyone knows my humor has improved since then I would like to be asked the question again.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Ardvarrk."
Thank you.
__________________
Paboberto
Formerly Snugglesnort
"Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit." -- Aristotle
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08-06-2007, 12:14 PM
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Master of Clowning
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'cause he was too Chicken to go anywhere else.
*Ha *Ha *Groan
Good ones Gladman
~Suitcase Sam
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