
06-03-2007, 09:18 PM
|
 |
Grand Poobah of Clowning
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: South GA.
Posts: 1,360
Thanks: 244
Thanked 369 times in 184 posts
Laugh: 287
Got 1,139 laughs in 294 posts
Groans: 30
Groaned at 14 Times in 12 Posts
|
|
So why DID the chicken cross the road?
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
_____ ______ _________________________________________
OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
__________________________________________________ __
GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
__________________________________________________ __
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
__________________________________________________ __
ANDERSONCOOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
__________________________________________________ __
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
__________________________________________________ _
NANCY GRACE :
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
__________________________________________________ __
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
__________________________________________________ __
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
__________________________________________________ __
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
_____________________ ______ _________________________
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
__________________________________________________ __
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
__________________________________________________ __
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
__________________________________________________ __
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
__________________________________________________ __
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
__________________________________________________ __
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
__________________________________________________ __
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is a integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C .. ... reboot.
__________________________________________________ __
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
__________________________________________________ __
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
__________________________________________________ __
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
__________________________________________________ __
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
__________________________________________________ __
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
_____________________________________________
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
__________________
I started out with nothing and have still got some of it left.
|
The following 9 clowns laughed out loud at Gladman's funny post:
|
|

06-04-2007, 01:58 AM
|
 |
Boss Clown/ Administrator
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Coldwater, MI
Posts: 5,278
Thanks: 1,311
Thanked 1,186 times in 702 posts
Laugh: 758
Got 1,416 laughs in 654 posts
Groans: 36
Groaned at 37 Times in 34 Posts
|
|
To prove to the possum that it could be done!
__________________
"Oy, It was such a shanda! I should never buy Gribenes from a Mohel. It's too chewy."
Robin Williams
|
The following 4 clowns laughed out loud at Scruffy's funny post:
|
|

06-04-2007, 07:42 PM
|
 |
COAI Regional Vice President Midwest
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North Central Indiana
Posts: 6,631
Thanks: 1,623
Thanked 2,132 times in 1,177 posts
Laugh: 1,246
Got 1,590 laughs in 727 posts
Groans: 69
Groaned at 49 Times in 39 Posts
|
|
IMMIGRATION REFORM AND THE CHICKEN:
Now that the chicken is on our side of thw road we should not ask how he got here. Nor should we send him back. I vote to create a path towards legalization for said chicken.
NASA:
We were not aware that our chicken was planning on crossing the road. All our psychological testing indicated that the chicken was content where it was. We have relieved the chicken of all duties and it will undergo more testing so that we can avoid this problem in the future.
Last edited by Fitzwilly; 06-05-2007 at 10:54 PM..
Reason: Spelling
|
The following 4 clowns laughed out loud at Fitzwilly's funny post:
|
|

07-12-2007, 12:31 AM
|
 |
Administrator
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,429
Thanks: 839
Thanked 1,146 times in 576 posts
Laugh: 567
Got 1,113 laughs in 430 posts
Groans: 26
Groaned at 37 Times in 21 Posts
|
|
Welcome visitors from 850 KOA Newsradio! If you liked these chicken jokes, I'd like to direct your attention to the "Register" button above you; sign up and getcher clown-tested jokes here on our forum. If you didn't like these chicken jokes, I'd like to direct your attention to the balloon marked "Souvenir Stand", where you can pick up Clown Forum-themed merchandise for the kids. Thanks and enjoy your stay!
|

08-06-2007, 11:50 AM
|
 |
Grand Poobah of Clowning
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 591
Thanks: 171
Thanked 537 times in 211 posts
Laugh: 118
Got 203 laughs in 108 posts
Groans: 5
Groaned at 3 Times in 3 Posts
|
|
Apperantly my first joke ever in my life was:
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Blue!"
Now to make sure that everyone knows my humor has improved since then I would like to be asked the question again.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Ardvarrk."
Thank you.
__________________
Pobo the Hobo
Formerly Paboberto and before that Snugglesnort
"Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit." -- Aristotle
|

08-06-2007, 12:14 PM
|
 |
Grand Poobah of Clowning
|
|
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: southern Indiana
Posts: 835
Thanks: 116
Thanked 436 times in 264 posts
Laugh: 53
Got 237 laughs in 109 posts
Groans: 4
Groaned at 3 Times in 3 Posts
|
|
'cause he was too Chicken to go anywhere else.
*Ha *Ha *Groan
Good ones Gladman
~Suitcase Sam
|
| Thread Tools |
|
|
| Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:46 AM.
|