Smarty Pants Answers

[Harpoetta]

smarty pants answers

Gotta love them all!! It's one of those things like why didn't I think
of that?


SMARTY PANTS ANSWER #6 -- It was mealtime during a flight on United Airlines. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.

'What are my choices?' John asked.

'Yes or no,' she replied
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SMARTY PANTS ANSWER #5 -- A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'
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SMARTY PANTS ANSWER #4 -- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
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SMARTY PANTS ANSWER #3 -- The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said.

The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.
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SMARTY PANTS ANSWER #2 -- A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, 'Low Bridge Ahead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'

The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas.'
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Two bonus extras:

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, 'May I have 50 Christmas stamps?'

The clerk says, 'What denomination?'

The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6
Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.
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A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not
happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible;
I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'

..He never heard the shot....