Why British Signs Are So Much Funnier Than Ours

[Harpoetta]

At Train Station:

KEEP BACK FROM THE PLATFORM EDGE
or you may get sucked off.


At A Zoo:

PLEASE BE SAFE.
Do not stand, sit, climb, or lean on zoo fences.
If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick.
Thank you.


In Public Restrooms:

OUR AIM IS TO KEEP THIS BATHROOM CLEAN
Gentlemen
Your aim will help. Stand closer it's shorter than you think.
Ladies
Please remain seated for the entire performance.


On Heavy Machinery:

CAUTION
This machine has no brain, use your own.


ON A Subway Car:

Ladies, the poles have been fitted for your safety.
NO DANCING.


In Public Park:

Attention Dog Guardians
Pick up after your dogs.
Thank you.
Attention Dogs
Grrrr, bark, woof.
Good dog.


Sign On Store:

Mr. Toskana has had an expensive divorce and now needs the money, so SALE ON NOW!!


In Pub:

Don't Throw Your Cigarette Ends On The Floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

[tim]

A couple from the train lines which I like are:

"Mind the gap."

In Chicago, we actually have a Britishesque sign at one subway stop which reads "Way Out."

But the absolute best are these spoofs from a woman who is the "Voice of the British Underground." She did a series of spoofs, for which she got fired recently:

The Voice of the London*Underground - FRONT PAGE - PlentyofFish Dating Site Reviews, Free Boat Plans, Myspace Flash Layouts

[tim]

Here's her website, where you can find tons of fun stuff:

Spoof London Underground Announcements – Emma Clarke Voiceover and Writer

voiceover and writer for radio, television and new media – UK-based – Emma Clarke

I like the "create your own voiceover" application.

[The_Princess_of_Bozonia]

The dog sign is real, but I believe it's in Vancouver:

[Fifi D. Clown]

Canadian's have great signs too! How do you get the picture in this box?