One Liners

[milo]

I’ve been trawling the internet for some funny one liners to memorise and throw out whenever the opportunity arises.

Some of these tickled me – Anybody got any good ones to add?


No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.

Don't steal. The government hates competition.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

I intend to live forever. So far so good.

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

[Fitzwilly]

To find some really good one liners like the ones above check out websites that specialize in crazy t-shirts. They usually have some good short sayings.

[Grandpa Weatherbie]

Have you checked with the King of the One Liners, Henny Youngman?

[Harpoetta]

Check out some dumb bumper sticker sites too.

[Gladman]

So, what did the snail say when he was riding on the turtles back?
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Wheeeeeeeeeee!

[Fitzwilly]

Couldn't help it. I thought it was funny.