Brand New edition of "You're a redneck when..."

[Harpoetta]

Brand new edition of...
'You know you're a redneck when......


1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

[Willace-the-Clown]

As a Jeff Foxwerthy fan I reconize some of those

[Happy Chappy & Daisy]

What happened to number 5? I might be a redneck, but I can still count! Number 5 is Kyle Busch! You got something against Kyle?

[Happy Chappy & Daisy]

By the way, You might be a redneck if...
You've given your wife NASCAR collector plates for Christmas - and she thanked you for them! (Guilty!)

Daisy says, "What's wrong with being a redneck/hillbilly? I put my shoes on when I leave the state."

[Harpoetta]

I must have missed # 5 when I was copy/pasting, I'll have to check my email and see if I can find it. I honestly don't even know who Kyle Busch is.

[Happy Chappy & Daisy]

Originally Posted by Harpoetta

I must have missed # 5 when I was copy/pasting, I'll have to check my email and see if I can find it. I honestly don't even know who Kyle Busch is.

Thou blasphemer!

Daisy has not only had NASCAR collector plates, she used to have hats, bumper stickers, shirts, Matchbox cars... and Dale Jarrett's right rear tire from the '04 Daytona 500 (and please don't ask who Dale Jarrett is! She might thouroughly faint!)

[Happy Chappy & Daisy]

How does a redneck child learn to count?



"One, two, Dale Earnhardt, four, five..."

[Willace-the-Clown]

my Grandmother has tons of Rusty wallace stuff

[Harpoetta]

Ok, I just checked the original email that was sent to me, and # 5 isn't even there! What does # 5 say?

[Happy Chappy & Daisy]

Originally Posted by Willace-the-Clown

my Grandmother has tons of Rusty wallace stuff

Maybe somebody could oil it for her...

Daisy says that he's a good commentator, now.