Magic Show: Bloopers

[Jolly Well]

It eventually happens to everyone sooner or later...
What have some of your more awkward, embarassing, funny, or horrendous moments up close or on stage? (They don't have to be magic only! any humorous magic, clown, balloon, etc. stories?)

I've dropped a thumb tip on stage once - fortunately it was in a small venue and it happened early in my magic career. Not much you can do except roll with it I guess. It was a disaster for me at the time - it was "pre-clown" when I did magic only - so I couldn't even joke it off really.

I also dropped a tip doing close up much later in my career. Experience helped alot, I was able to step on the tip "looking" for whatever the spectator thought he saw. From there I was able to slide a finger into the tip and move on - the guy eventually thought he saw "an eraser" or something - I just shrugged, not knowing what he was talking about - and moved on with the routine. I didn't get caught that time, but still super embarassing. I spent the next ten minutes laughing at myself in my head.

Finally, I hired an assistant to help me with a fire breathing and eating routine. Went through everything - they seemed eager to learn and eventually perform with fire. Then, as the show starts he says "I'm really kinda afraid of fire..."

I just stood there with lit torch in hand, staring at him blankly as he retreated off stage. Stupified, I let my torches get too hot, and took a few bad burns inside the mouth. Fortunately, I was able to conceal the burns and pain, and complete the show. I'm still looking for an assistant by the way - anyone?

[Chuckles The Clown]

Fire Eater? We have one in our ring,& I still don't now you keep the fire extinguisher in your mouth... Does the hose enter the body someplace else ???? :-)

[Jolly Well]

haha, you'd see alot fewer fire eaters if we had to have a fire extinguisher colonic for sure!

[Chuckles The Clown]

As far as bloopers, someone posted the quip "OOOPS ! The real magician will be here shortly". When its hard to cover up a boo boo, and it can happen, I once said, "Oh well, thats show biz" and kept on going...Accidents do happen. (Uh, about that fire extinguisher...)

[Fitzwilly]

Just recently I was hired through a friend to do a balloon twisting gig at a nursing home for Grandparents Day. I verified that it was artist attire, non-clown and no show just balloon twisting and for a reduced rate.
I pull out my belt and start making balloons for the residents in the common room and the administrator starts setting up the chairs, this causes me to think she is expecting a show. Sure enough, I run out to my truck as I USUALLY keep a showbox in reserve. However as fate would have it I cleaned out my truck that very morning before the show, vacuumed the carpet, and washed it up so that it looked nice and sharp. What I didn't do was replace my show equipment. I had juggling balls in the bottom of my balloon bag so I used those. The kicker for me was this: I had been working on a new patter line for Professor's Nightmare. I had developed it to a point where the trick was really just an accent to the story. I ended up telling the entire story without the ropes. It really worked out and the administrator was really suprised. She was a little disappointed and snippity when she found out I wasn't expecting to do a show. I left vowing NEVER to leave the house with out a mini show tucked away in the truck.

[Nettie Belle]

I'm sure they LOVED you, Fitzwilly. Who couldn't?

You can get away with a lot of faux pas at nursing homes ... some of the people are sleeping anyway and some don't remember if you've repeated yourself, so you can do the same thing over and over.

When my mother was in a nursing home, we used to do shows for them, and some of them LOVED us; others really didn't know why we were there or what we were doing, but they had a good nap and that's all that mattered.

I kind of look forward to napping anytime I want ... they're strict about napping at my workplace, and tend to frown on it.

[Grandpa Weatherbie]

Why Mz Nettie Belle, I declare, nearly married a year and already checking out the "fauxy pa's" at the nursing homes.
While reading all of the post at Clown-Forum I have noticed that Clown's seem to love entertaining children and the elderly. This all relates to "bloopers" somehow in that children usually think mistakes are hysterical, and as Nettie Belle suggested, the elderly either nap or are just thrilled to be entertained, bloopers? What the heck is that?
When in the middle of one of my routines at the piano if I make a mistake and sing out of key, I might stop in the middle of a song to tune up and have any of the audience with singing skills to provide mid performance voice lessons...
As for a reward for entertaining the elderly I'm not sure I can describe my feelings after accidently encountering an elderly woman while selling magazines in 1960. I knocked on the door of an old victorian style home in Burbank, Ca. and heard a faint voice inviting me to enter. I entered to find no one there except an elderly woman that seemed blind. She was expecting someone to come and read to her. She asked me if I had come to read to her and after not too much thought I answered, why yes of course. She pointed to an open bible on a bed stand next to her bed. I was nervous as heck because it just dawned on me that I am a notoriously lousy reader. Blooperer King of the world. I started reading and making mistakes and trying earnestly to read without error. I was trying to read and watch her at the same time to be sure I wasn't annoying her. After about an hour I thought I had read her to sleep. I put the bible back where I had found it and marked the page for the next reader. As I was getting up to leave she spoke, she said " thank you for coming to read to me, you are a wonderful reader" I left that room a different person, and have never forgotten what happened there that afternoon. So, bloopers? What the heck is that? If you are out there doing thing's in earnest, I think that even bloopers can be an asset.
Burma Shave

[Jolly Well]

This past summer I did a street festival on my velocity stilts..

In short - it was hot, I was drinking a lot of lemonade... and will all the bouncing and jumping and such.. my bladder began screaming for mercy...

So I take off towards the nearest port-a-john in a single bound! - ok, it was a few bounds - but the velocity stilts made it a quick run! Without having the time I enter into the little green box still strapped into stilts (tight fit)

I didn't think anything of it, but when I exited - there was a little old lady next in line who freaked out from the giant exiting the port-a-john. She turned pale and almost started running - kinda funny kinda freaky - the last thing you want as an entertainer is to give a potential employer a heart attack...

[Giggles the Clown]

Grandpa -- what a beautiful story. Also, any one of us could be that little old lady/man someday. I believe that true clowns have an abundance of fun AND compassion in their hearts.

[Nettie Belle]

That is a VERY nice story, Grandpa. You are truly a blessing to that woman, and I'm sure you made a highlight in her day.

It reminds me of one time when I was at the hospital visiting patients. I didn't just visit the kids, I visited anyone who wanted me to come in.

When I checked at the nurses' station, they informed me that one of the patients' had just lost his wife this particular day, and she was in the nursing home and he was in the hospital. When I got to his room, he was just staring out the window. I knocked on the door, and asked if he would like company. He said yes, so I went in there, and sat down with him. He smiled a little bit, but it was not my mission to make him LAUGH ... he just wanted to talk. He had been married to his wife for 66 years. He said they had always been there for each other, and he was feeling sad that he was not with her when she died.

He told me all about their lives together, from the time they met, through their marriage, and about their kids, etc. I sat with him for over an hour, mostly listening. He repeated over and over how he felt so bad that he wasn't with her.

I told him that sometimes it's best just to remember people as they were when they were full of life, and that is how he will remember her. He said he knew this would eventually happen but he was hoping he would go before her, because he didn't know how he was going to get along without her. I told him that she was his angel wife now, and it was time to let her take care of him, so he could get out of the hospital. When I said that, he looked at me and said she had ALWAYS been his angel wife, but now she was going to watch over him from heaven. He said he couldn't wait to get to heaven now so he could be reunited with her.

Anyway, we really had a nice talk. He showed me pictures, and told me so many stories. At one point, I wondered if he even realized I had blue hair and polka dots all over, but when I could tell he was getting tired, I told him I was so sorry about his wife, and how much I enjoyed talking to him. He said, "I don't think you realize how much I've enjoyed talking to YOU ... hey, do you know any magic tricks?" I showed him something simple (I don't remember what it was now) and he laughed and when I got ready to leave, he thanked me again for coming in. At one point in our conversation, I told him that I worked there at the hospital, and he said he would like to see what I look like as a regular person, so I told him I would come back the next day. Which I did. I visited him every day he was in the hospital. One of the things he told me was that he knew he had borrowed his wife from God and it was time to return her back to him.

About a month later, I read in the paper that he passed away He is one of the few people I've known who I was happy when they died. He wanted to be reunited with his wife of 66 years so much, I think he must have truly died of a broken heart.

Sometimes clowns are just for comfort; not necessarily for snicks and giggles. Clowns tend to be "people people" and that's one way we can make others smile.