Why did the Chicken cross the road?

[Hypnot]

Why did the Chicken cross the road?

Peoples answer to "Why did the Chicken cross the road?":

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where’s my gun?

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?’ That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

[Fitzwilly]

HILLARY CLINTON:
It wasn't just a chicken that crossed the road, it was a hen. And she crossed the road because it was time for a hen to be on the other side of the road!

BARAK OBAMA:
That chicken was looking for change. She knew than when the farmer woke her up at 3am there was going to be a problem unles there was change!

JOHN MCAIN:
Don't ask me that question. Everybody knows we had this discussion. I will not answer another question about the chicken. It was a private matter.

[Oollilolli]

Roseanne:
Urrrrrp. What chicken?

Jack Benny:
I'm thinking. ... I'm thinking

Woody Allen:
I mean, it was, it was ... a legal chicken ... It wasn't like it was a blood relative or anything. (And don't believe anything that Mia says about me.)

Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

James Cagney:
It crossed twice. The dirty double-crosser.

John Cleese:
This Chicken is no more. It has ceased to function. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. It's a stiff. If it wasn't nailed to the road it'd be pushing up daisies. It's snuffed it. It's metabolic processes are now history. It's bleeding demised. It's rung down the curtain, shuffled off the mortal coil and joined the bleeding Choir Invisible. This is an Ex-Chicken. Ergo, it did not cross the road.

Darwin:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross road.

James Dean:
To prove he wasn't chicken.

Emily Dickenson:
Because it could not stop for death.

Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Freud:
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates:
To purchase Chicken 2.01a, which will both cross roads and calculate the energy it used. There are bugs, yes, but if you uninstall Traffic 2.0 and Farmer 1.2 it will run. If it freezes at WhiteLine 2.0, we have a patch ...

Saddam Hussein:
It is the Mother of all Chickens.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.

Karl Marx:
It crossed twice. First time, it was a tragedy; second time, a farce.

Chico Marx:
It couldn't. It was a rubber chicken.

Groucho Marx:
Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

Jackie Mason:
Whaddaya want, it should just stand there?

Fox Mulder:
It was a government conspiracy.

Jack Nicholson:
'Cause it ***** wanted to. That's the ****** reason.

And finally, my absolute favorite:

Harpo Marx:
Honk! Honk! Honk!

[Artsy]

Harpo Marx:
Honk! Honk! Honk!


GREAT IDEA OOLLI
Let's add what WE CLOWNS would say...

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

ARTSY:
Because she wanted to get in line to be facepainted!

[saphireSue]

it's been awhile so I'd thought I'd add it to this thread

Well since you know why the chicken crossed the road. Do you know what kind of shoes chicken's were?

REEBOX Reebox ...box. box

[tim]

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road..

ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz


SARAH PALIN: BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA SHOOT HIS SORRY LIBERAL ASS OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA!

Poor Joe Biden apparently doesn't have a clue as to that the chicken even moved to the other side of the street. I guess he feels that this is no joking matter.

This just in: the stock market has crashed into the chicken as it attempted to cross the road. But, good news, the federal government will be buying up the chicken carcass and recently had it insured for an increased benefit of $250,000. An investigation as to whether these events are connected has begun.

[Gladman]

BARACK OBAMA: Now is the time. This is the place. This is the chicken and crossing the road will produce the change this chicken wants.

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, I guarantee, even if it takes 100 years, that chicken will cross the road in victory

SARAH PALIN: That chicken was crossin' the road, but you betcha, I got in my state paid-for helicopter with the first dude's shotgun and blasted that liberal, godless chicken right off the road.

THE 110th CONGRESS: Do you mean the chicken could actually cross the road and not just sit there doing nothing?

HILLARY CLINTON: I was shot at by snipers while I helped that 58 year old white chicken wearing a pantsuit cross the road.

GEORGE W. BUSH: That chicken is part of the axis of evil, but maybe it will stand and pose for a picture with me. No-one else will.

DICK CHENEY: Sorry about shooting the farmer helping the chicken cross the road.

COLIN POWELL: On the left side of the sattelite image you can clearly see the mobile kitchen threatening to cook the chicken crossing the road.

ALBERTO GONZALES What chicken? I can't remember.

BILL CLINTON: I don't know why that chicken was carrying a cigar while crossing the road.

AL GORE: Due to global warming the chicken was cooked by the time it crossed the road.

TED STEVENS: The chicken crossed the Alaskan road, and the bridge which I funded with benchmarks for $250 million.

DIEBOLD VOTING MACHINE: There were 200 hundred chickens that crossed the road (from the town of 100 chickens) and they were all Republicans

MAINSTREAM MEDIA The chicken crossed the road with Brittany Spears and a missing Siamese twin, and was almost hit by an SUV pursued by police cars, with helicopters transmitting images of the event.

ALTERNATIVE MEDIA: A chicken, funded by big oil, big Pharma and pork barrel legislation promoted by lobbyists, crossed to the right side of the road.

PROTESTERS: We protested the unsafe crossing of the road from our protest cage a mile away.

FOX NEWS: The chicken was obviously a communist chicken. It was red.

DRUDGE REPORT: The chicken shown below was funded by liberal democrats Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi This liberal chicken crossed the road with $1 million in Democrat Funding

BILL O'REILLY: The chicken was running from a rapist, but she was a liberal chicken slut, so who cares if the road was a three laner with high traffic. She deserved whatever hit her.

LOU DOBBS: The chicken was an illegal alien chicken running across the road to escape capture by the first brigade soldiers protecting America, in violation of Posse Comitatus, thank GOD.

REPUBLICAN PARTY: That chicken crossed the road without photo ID, making it ineligible to vote or cross the road-- and it's name wasn't on the chicken registry either, probably because it was a former prisoner.

RONALD REAGAN: First, the people earning over a million a year cross the road, then the big corporations. This will make it easier for the chicken to cross the road and while it's crossing, the chicken can clean up the trash they left on the road.

A VEGETARIAN: Do you know how many acres of rainforest have to be destroyed for one chicken to cross the road?

JERRY FALWELL: The chicken was run over while crossing the road because it was in a gay marriage and God cursed it.
PETA: Why couldn't a broccoli cross the road, or some tofu?

DECARTES: The chicken crosses the road, therefor it is.

THE BEATLES: Here comes the chicken. Here comes the chicken. It's alright... da da da da da da da da da.

NANCY PELOSI: The chicken was off the table, so it crossed the road.

CNN's WOLF BLITZER: The 12 foot tall chicken crossed the road. That's what the GOP tells us and we have no reason to ask any questions or doubt it.

BILL GATES: The road has been optimized so the chicken will cross the road faster and more safely if it uses Windows Vista as it's walking system. If there is a crash, we've made it easy to reboot the chicken. We call it MS egg.

WINDOWS VISTA: First make sure that no other animals are on the road. If there are any, start the next day with a clear road. Then, first, be sure the asphalt is within 60-80 degrees Fahrenheit. Then, call traffic control. Confirm that all lanes are clear for two miles. Feed the chicken the following mix of food. Check the chicken's feet. Yadda Yadda yadda. And then click the right button on the mouse....

APPLE MAC: The chicken crosses the road.

MACHIAVELLI: I helped the chicken cross the road to get its eggs.

DALAI LAMA We must ALL cross the road to be one with the chicken

MICHAEL JACKSON Look at that cute beak. I wonder if my plastic surgeon could do something like that for me.

JESUS It is easier to thread a camel through the eye of a needle than for a wealthy chicken to cross the road.

WOODY ALLEN: My brother thinks he's a chicken, so I help him cross the road, for the eggs.

[Scruffy]

To prove to the Possum that it could be done!

[boho64]

The chicken crossed the road to escape a hord of hungry clowns.....

[Grandpa Weatherbie]

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