Age gags

Cornflake · #1 (**permalink**) 01-10-2008, 04:45 AM

I might be blind but I havent seen a thread on gags/jokes for a kids age. For an example.

How old are you? Im 5. Yeah I know your alive how old are you? 5! oh 25 wow you must be married are you married? No im 5! Oh did you say 5? yes! So youve been married for 5 years, congratulations!

Got anymore for different ages?

Fitzwilly · #2 (**permalink**) 01-10-2008, 03:05 PM

I've seen and heard other clowns doing these types of jokes but have never done many myself. This is a great idea for a thread. Thanks Cornflake. And since I missed you coming in the door let me welcome you to the Forum.

Cornflake · #3 (**permalink**) 01-11-2008, 02:17 PM

OK another one to get the ball roling, COME ON PEOPLE!

How old are you? 10. Wow I was 10 when I was your age.

vslg1 · #4 (**permalink**) 01-11-2008, 02:38 PM

I usually ask how old they are...

how old are you - 5
25 WOW...You don't look that old...You must have a driver's license...do you think you could take me to McDonalds later for a giraffe burger...It just goes on and on...

or here's my favorite...

What's your name...John...or Ashley (whatever their name is)...WOW! That's such a cool name..can I borrow it...? I'll give it back in about an hour...but if someone asks me what my name is I'd like to be able to tell them its Ashley...You can use my name for a little while if you like...They get a kick out of this...

But I know I'm getting old...when that kids comes up to me later...and says See ya later Ashley...and it totally goes over my head...

I was substitute teaching yesterday and had a 2nd grade class...We were reading a story about a tiger that eats people...

So I ask...has anyone here ever been eaten by a tiger...it kinda left them perplexed...okay...how many of you have ever eaten a tiger...

If I do animal tricks...I ask what sound a cow makes, what sound a dog makes...chicken...frog...so forth and so on until I ask what sound the giraffe makes...

Cornflake · #5 (**permalink**) 01-11-2008, 02:43 PM

Hahaha nice vslg1.

At the start of my show I say "Hi everyone, My name is cornflake. but my real name is samantha dont tell anyone".

(thats the stlye and type of homour for Cornflake though)

The_Princess_of_Bozonia · #6 (**permalink**) 01-11-2008, 03:41 PM

When I was One,
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.
When I was Three
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.
When I was Five, I was just alive.
But now I am Six, I'm as clever as clever,
So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever. (A. A. Milne)

Kleanthis_Greece · #7 (**permalink**) 01-11-2008, 05:56 PM

The classic mishearing gag!It's one of my favorites!

I usually do this:

Are you married? (Kid: Nooooooooo )

Ooookkkkk!And how many kids do you have? (KiD: Noneeeeee )

Twenty one?????WOW!!!Twenty one kids in that age?How long have you been married??? kid: I don't have KIDS!!!!

Ok.I understand.You don't have children but ,surely,you have grandchildren!Are you a grandpaaaaaaaaa at that age???Oh my god!You don't even have grey hair!

Most of the times I get a great reaction so I continue to ask silly questions.

Also,sometimes I yell at them with my funny voice:

Ok, you,smart kids!!!

Who's gonna be the first that 'll come up here, stand next to me aaaaaaaaaand...( before I end the sentence, all hands are raised up,cause they think that I need a magic assistant.Then I continue... ) anddddddd PUT his trousers off!!! Or if I don't want things to be so "spicy"... andddddddd knock his head with my huge hammer( if I say it right in English - sorry )

They laugh all together and then I say that I need a magic assistant:
Wow!All hands raised!
But I need the best one!!!

Who's the quickest? KIDS:Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Who's the smartest? KIDS:Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Who's the best student? KIDS:Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Who's the strengthest? KIDS:Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

and kids reply MEEEEEEEEEEE with a loud voice in every question,so suddenly I say

Who's the silliest??? KIDS: ( some of them answer MEEEEEEEEEE as they did in the previous questions and all of them lol )

I love these jokes!

They are easy and can really warm up the audience,not only kids.Usually parents laugh too.

vslg1 · #8 (**permalink**) 01-11-2008, 06:37 PM

My first name is not always so easy to pronounce for the kids...

Its ALAWADA...sounds just like its spelled...

So I invite 1 person up to tell my middle name since its always the magic word...but its a secret because everytime I tell someone they laugh at me...so I tell the secret middle name to 1 child and I position myself so that it appears as though I'm whispering it to them but in reality I'm saying it loud enough for everyone to hear....

everyone hears it...starts laughing...I pretend as if I said it in a low voice...And the person sits back down...after I confirm that its a bonafide secret between us two...I ask everyone for the magic words (usually during the coloring book) and they scream out my middle name which is boom-shaka-laka...always said with a wiggle and a twist...I look at the person (usually the birthday child) as if I'm shocked because they gave away our secret....My promise to the kids is next time I'll say it LOUDER so NOONE will hear it...

They love it...

Kleanthis...I love the delayed question...I may have to borrow that one

Bumbles · #9 (**permalink**) 01-12-2008, 06:44 AM

Thanks for the great posts.

Cornflake · #10 (**permalink**) 01-12-2008, 04:48 PM

Haha love it Kleanthis.

I use to say who wants lollies! kids:Meeeeeeeee!! Well there lollies at tthe shop you can go buy them.

Who wants to see more tricks kids:Meeeeeeee!!
Who wants a balloon kids:Meeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
Who wants $100 kids: MeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Who wants to eat grass kids Meeeeeeeee!!!!!

Then I say OOOOOkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk thennn... and let the show go into an akward bit.