Bedpan Guitar

[Pickles]

A week or so ago, somebody in the chat room mentioned a bedpan guitar. I apologize, but I can't remember who it was.

I've given up on my traditional acoustic guitar lessons, and am thinking I might do much better with a guitar of this sort.

Can anybody provide any instruction as to how one makes a bedpan guitar? I would think that a metal bedpan would be a little heavy. Can one use a plastic one? Do they even make plastic bedpans?

Please advise -- and if anybody could find a photo of one, that would be terrific!

[Nettie Belle]

Ooh ... what a great idea. I want one too. I can't wait.

[Scruffy]

and, I can make one for you.You will need to find a metal bed pan. The plastic just isn't heavy enough.
A bit of back ground about me. In 1992 I started an apprenticeship learning to make guitars. To date, I have built 2 Ukuleles, 1 banjo, five mountain dulcimers,eight mandolins, 1 semi hollow electric guitar, one acoustic guitar,six solid body electric guitars, and something I call a Dulcilin. Plus the hundreds instruments that I have repaired.
Most Panjos that I have seen use a dulcimer fret system, with a neck like a guitar or banjo. this means that you have one melody string. that you slide from one fret to another on to play a tune. I would add the missing two "drone" strings, which you always play open. This will give you a fuller sound. It is a very simple instrument to play. The Dulcilin is like this. The idea was a dulcimer that you could stand up and play with a group. traditionally, you sit on a chair or stool to play the mountain dulcimer.
The other thing that would work and I think better that the bedpan (but not as funny) is a round cookie tin like Christmas butter cookies come in.
If interested please Pm me
Cheers,
Scruffy

[Scruffy]

Also, It' not that I am against telling you now, but it is complicated, if the fret slots are not cut accurately, or in the correct position, It will not make music. Also, the neck has to be made of a good quality hardwood, or it won't have the stiffness to hold up properly.

The one I was not made correctly to play in tune, and the guy thought it was the greatest thing in the world. Mine will play in tune, will last, and above all will make music. He paid a hundred bucks, for it. I would charge around the same, But again you need to find a bed ban!
Cheers,
Scruffy

[Pickles]

Wow, Scruffy, I didn't realize that the bedpan guitar was a precision instrument that you could actually play! This is just too cool that we have a clown who is an expert in this area.

Here is the big question: Do you think that somebody at my local music store can teach me how to play it? Or could you do an instructional video?

As I mentioned, my guitar lessons aren't going so well. Obviously, the "Scruffy Bedpan Guitar" is not some cheap clown prop haphazardly thrown together to just carry around for laughs; it's much, much more than that. If I were to commission you to craft one for me, I'd need to know that there was a real chance that I could master a couple of tunes on the thing.

How likely is it that somebody who is a very medicore beginning guitarist can learn how to play a bedpan guitar? Any chance that you would ever be available at a clown conference to give lessons?

Also, do they still make metal bedpans or would I need to hit all the garage sales? (Eeeeew, a used bedpan.)

[Wowza]

Bo "Peewee" Brown Pee Wee and Bumper also makes Panjo's. His are one string as Scruffy has stated. I saw him and his wares at a TnT Road Show I attended. It was a nice little gimmick, but hard to play and the music wasn't pretty.

Hope I didn't step on Scruffy's clown shoes. Sounds like Scruffy would make a better product, for about the same price. I just wanted to throw my little bit of knowledge in.

[Finito]

So... it's like a canjo with a bedpan instead of a can?

[The_Princess_of_Bozonia]

I just checked eBay and sure enough, they have a number of metal bedpans.

[Finito]

How delightful! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Pickles]

Originally Posted by The_Princess_of_Bozonia

I just checked eBay and sure enough, they have a number of metal bedpans.

So would one go for the "vintage metal bedpan with aluminum lid," the "mottled enamel-ware bedpan," or perhaps an "antique Coumbian porcelain metal bedpan"?

Who knew there would be so many choices.

I wonder what the average non-clown bedpan purchaser does with his bedpan. Hmmmm. It could be a planter (sweet pees). Or maybe a soup tureen (pee soup). The possibilities are endless.

In a way I'm kind of surprised that I don't already own one.