I'm looking for a 2-clown skit for two hobo clowns

[ashes]

I'm looking for a skit or "bits" that Petunia
and I can do together.

We're both hobo/tramp clowns, and I'd like something
we can do on the spur of the moment together,
without much more than a nod between us to set it
up.

Any ideas?

Ashes

[TJ]

"Dead or Alive" works well for any two clown types.

Both clowns are at opposite sides of the room, see each other, double or triple take, extend hand (as to shake) and approach each other. Miss the hand shake walking past each other. stop, look at hand, turn and repeat (3x).
At that point they return to each other center stage, stop short of shaking, facing each other, Clown 1 offers hand, but Clown 2 pulls back hand and instead raises his hat to Clown 1 (who is still extneding the hand as to shake). Now the Clown 1 pulls his hand back and raises his hat, at the same time Clown 2 sets his hat back on his head and extends his hand (as if to shake). Reapeat 3x always opposite of the other. hand out, hat up, hand out, hat up, etc.
Clown 1 now looses composure and simly stands there lifting his hat up and down repeatedly with a stupid look on his face (really fast as if wildly confused)
Clown 2 stomps on Clown 1's foot to make him stop.
Clown 1 then hops up and down a short while. Regains composure and then smacks Clown 2 across the face causing Clown 2's hat to fall to the the ground.
Clown 2 is now very upset and after recovering from the slap, points to his hat laying on the floor and demands Clown 1 retrieve it.
Clown 1 walks over, bends down (hat must be in the right vacinity) exposing his behind to Clown 2.
It's too tempting...so, Clown 2 kicks Clown 1 in the behind as Clown 1 grabs the hat.
Now Clown 1 chases Clown 2 off the stage.

There, I hope that helps.

[Jolly Well]

I use to do a two clown singing skit based off of "Paper of Pins."

Everything I needed, I could store on myself or have nearby.

Song and Skit went something like this (we were myself - tramp, and her - Whiteface; but you could swap it out easy enough)

Man Sings: "I'll give to you a paper of pins, if that's the way that love begins; if you will marry - marry, marry marry - if you'll marry me."

Once I stopped singing this part, I'd set-up the needle through balloon gag, and hand my partner the "pin" (needle)

Woman sings: "I don't want you paper of pins if that's the way that love begins, for I won't marry - marry marry marry, I won't marry you"

Once she stopped singing, we'd do the needle through balloon trick

Man: "I'll give to you a golden ball, to bounce from the kitchen to the hall if you will marry, marry marry marry, if you'll marry me"

I'd start juggling here using "golden" juggling balls

Woman: "I don't want your golden ball, to bounce from the kitchen to the hall for I wont marry, marry marry marry, I won't marry you"

She'd interupt my juggling here - causing me to drop the balls.

Man: "I'll give to you a rocking chair - to sit in the garden and take fresh air if you will marry, marry marry marry, if you'll marry me"

I'd go take a break on a rocking chair, (set up earlier)

Woman: "I don't want your rocking chair, to sit in the garden and take fresh air - for I won't marry, marry marry marry, I won't marry you"

Here she'd come tip me over in the rocking chair

(If we were somewhere that we couldnt take a rocking chair - we'd just use a chair anywhere with alternate lyrics - listed below)

Alternate to rocking chair
I'll give to you a soft easy chair,
To sit and comb your pretty hair,
If you will marry, marry marry marry, if you'll marry me

Produce a sponge comb here - you can make one easily from soft foam or sponges

Woman: "I dont want your soft easy chair,
to sit and comb my pretty hair
for I wont marry, marry marry marry, I wont marry you.

perform vanish on sponge comb - if you're not experienced with sleights or magic - I can explain

Man: "I'll give to you a silver spoon,
to feed the baby in the afternoon if you will marry, marry marry marry, if you'll marry me

"We used an oversized mixing spoon"

Woman: I dont want your silver spoon,
to feed the baby in the after noon,
for I wont marry, marry marry marry, I wont marry you

She'd fling an invisible object at me from the spoon where I'd take a fall from the "impact"

Man: "I'll give to you the keys to my chest,
and all the money that I possess if you will marry, marry marry marry, if you'll marry me

remove my tophat and perform a trunciated version of the miser's dream

Woman: "If you give me the keys to your chest,
and all the money that you possess, then I will marry, marry marry marry, I will marry you.

She'd hold her hand out for the coin

Man: Ah hah hah, now I see - you love my money but you don't love me - well I wont marry, marry marry marry, I won't marry you.

show the empty hand/vanish coin from the end of the miser
woman chases man off stage - or to new walk around location

It's not as long as the post makes it sound - five minutes or so - give or take. The props are easy enough to store in oversized pockets or in a magicans vest